Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is often debated that primary schools focus to much on formal learning and how crcuial is for pupils to play as well as learn in the primary school. This essay firmly disagrees that educational institutions focus too much on formal learning because of sevreal reasons, and in my opinion maintaining balance between sports activities and studies in the classroom is significantly benficial for their mental and physical health. On the one hand, one primary reason why this essay maintains that school do not focus only on formal learning is that numerous schools have changed their way of teaching as the time passes. Although in the past many schools focus only on the fromal learning, Now they have changed their way of teaching because the needs of the practical skills and other creativities has increased. For example, many schools these days offer an extra class, which teach only about the essential life skills. Therefore, this essay completely disagree with this view, as nowadays teaching method of schools have changed significantly. On the other hand, in my opinion maintaining balance between studies and sports, such as cricket, football, and tennis plays a vitol role for the children mental health. This is because doing study in the classroom enhance their cognitive abilities. For instance, recent studies suggest that many children improve their mental abilities, when they join the school because teachers are trained to improve their critical thinking skills. Furthermore, playing cricket or football improve their physical health because they use their body for playing that improve their health. many researcher illustrate that playing any kind of support help children grow fast and it also make bones strong. Consequently, I believe that playing as well as learning is extremely important for children overall development. To sum up, I completely disagrees that schools focus only on formal learning, as time has increased the demands of practical skills, so schools have changed their method of teaching. Moreover, I think that playing as well as learning is extremely important for the children health.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. While you state that schools have changed their teaching methods, the evidence provided (e.g., 'extra class') is vague. Similarly, the argument for play is repetitive, focusing primarily on physical health rather than the cognitive or social benefits of play-based learning. To reach a higher band, you should provide more specific examples or deeper analysis of how play integrates with academic learning. Your position is clear throughout, but the supporting arguments lack the depth required for a higher score.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas. You use cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand,' 'Furthermore,' and 'Consequently' to link your points. However, some of the transitions feel slightly mechanical, and there are instances where the flow is interrupted by awkward phrasing, such as 'as the time passes' or 'as nowadays teaching method of schools have changed.' Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the two main points of the prompt, which helps the reader follow your argument, but the internal cohesion within paragraphs could be improved by varying the sentence structure more effectively.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, including terms like 'cognitive abilities,' 'educational institutions,' and 'overall development.' However, there are several spelling errors ('to much' instead of 'too much,' 'crcuial,' 'sevreal,' 'benficial,' 'vitol,' 'support' instead of 'sport'). These errors are frequent enough to be noticeable but do not prevent the reader from understanding your meaning. To improve, focus on proofreading for common spelling mistakes and try to incorporate more precise collocations to express your ideas with greater sophistication rather than relying on basic descriptive terms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt complex sentences, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement ('schools do not focus,' 'many schools focus,' 'teaching method... have changed') and article usage. Some sentences are also awkwardly constructed, such as 'how crcuial is for pupils to play.' These errors occur throughout the text. While they rarely impede communication, they indicate a lack of control over more complex structures. Increasing the frequency of error-free sentences and focusing on basic grammatical accuracy will help you achieve a higher band score.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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