Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is often debated that primary schools focus to much on formal learning and how crcuial is for the pupils to play as well as learn in the primary school. This essay firmly disagrees that educational institutions focus too much on formal learning because of sevreal reasons, and in my opinion maintaining balance between sports activities and studies in the classroom is significantly benficial for their mental and physical health. On the one hand, one primary reason why this essay maintains that school do not focus only on formal learning because many schools have changed their way of teaching with the time. Although in the past many schools focus only on the fromal learning, Now they have changed their way of teaching because the needs of the practical skills and other creativities have increased. For example, many schools these days offer an extra classes, which teachs only about the essential life skills. Therefore, this essay completely disagrees with this view because nowadays, teaching methods of schools have changed significantly. On the other hand, in my opinion maintaining balance between studies and sports, such as cricket, football, and tennis plays a vital role for children mental health. This is because doing study in the classroom enhance their cognitive abilities. For instance, recent studies suggest that many childrens improve their mental abilities, when they join the school because teachers are trained to improve their critical thinking skills. Furthermore, playing cricket or football improve their physical health because they use their body for playing that improves their health. many researcher illustrate that playing any kind of sport help children grow faster and it also makes bones strong. Consequently, I believe that playing as well as learning is extremely important for childrens overall development. To sum up, I completely disagrees that schools focus only on formal learning, as time has increased the demands of practical skills, so schools have changed their method of teaching. Moreover, I think that playing as well as learning is extremely important for the children health.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt, providing a clear position on the focus of primary schools and the importance of play. However, the development of ideas is somewhat repetitive. For instance, the argument that schools have changed their teaching methods is mentioned in the introduction, the first body paragraph, and the conclusion without significant expansion or new evidence. While the position is consistent, the supporting examples, such as 'extra classes', are vague. To reach a higher band, you should provide more specific, nuanced examples of how modern curricula integrate practical skills or how play-based learning specifically impacts child development.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas. Cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand', 'For instance', and 'Consequently' are used to link sentences and paragraphs. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly repetitive. Additionally, there are minor issues with referencing; for example, in the second paragraph, the transition between discussing cognitive abilities and physical health is a bit abrupt. Overall, the paragraphing is appropriate, and the reader can follow the argument without difficulty, but the flow could be improved with more varied cohesive links.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task, but there are several spelling errors, such as 'crcuial', 'sevreal', 'benficial', and 'teachs'. These errors are frequent enough to be noticeable. While you attempt to use some topic-specific vocabulary like 'cognitive abilities' and 'educational institutions', the range is somewhat limited. To improve, focus on accuracy in spelling and try to incorporate more sophisticated collocations or academic synonyms to demonstrate a wider range of vocabulary. The current level is sufficient to communicate your ideas, but the recurring spelling mistakes prevent a higher score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt complex sentences, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'school do not focus', 'many childrens improve') and article usage. Punctuation is generally functional, but there are some awkward phrasings that slightly impede the flow of reading. The errors do not prevent the reader from understanding your meaning, but they are frequent enough to indicate a lack of consistent control over complex structures. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and pluralization will significantly improve your accuracy.

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