Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

While some people believe that elementary schools put great emphasis on formal education other holds different views. In my opinion, formal education is important, but in-corporation of play is beneficial for students' overall well-being.

To a certain extent primary schools do place excessive emphasis on formal education because they think that the foundation years are crucial for building a strong academic base. According to many educationists, the primary years are critical because whatever information is provided in these years become the foundation of their later learnings. Many schools overload students with cognitive load which is detrimental to their overall wellbeing. According to time magazine there is increase in frustration level of students because of increasing load of studies and depression is becoming common in young individuals just because of the academic pressure.

On the other hand, the importance of play cannot be underestimated. Young learners don't learn from books only they learn by play, by hands-on activities. Scientist also believe that more the senses are involved more are the chances of learning. For example, Finland has successfully introduced play-based learning models, Students spend time in classroom also outside in nature playing and exploring with all their senses. They are already getting some amazing results. Children who learn by this method are more critical and lifelong learners.

In conclusion, A balanced approach including both studies and play is the best way to enhance the learning experience of children especially in the foundation years. In my opinion schools should adopt the successful paly-based learning models like that of Finland and China.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent to which primary schools focus on formal learning and the importance of play. The position is clear throughout, and the ideas are relevant. You provide a balanced argument, acknowledging the academic foundation while advocating for play-based learning. However, the development of ideas could be more nuanced. For instance, the mention of 'Finland and China' in the conclusion is slightly contradictory, as China is often associated with highly rigorous, formal academic pressure, which contrasts with the Finnish model you described earlier. To reach a higher band, ensure that your supporting examples consistently align with your stated position.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized into clear paragraphs, with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. There is a clear progression of ideas from the critique of formal education to the benefits of play. You use some cohesive devices, such as 'On the other hand' and 'For example', to link your points. However, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes a bit mechanical, and there are minor issues with referencing, such as the slightly abrupt transition between the discussion of Finland and the conclusion. Improving the variety and sophistication of your linking words would enhance the flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'detrimental', 'cognitive load', and 'lifelong learners'. There are some minor errors in word choice and spelling, such as 'in-corporation' (incorporation) and 'paly-based' (play-based). Additionally, 'other holds different views' should be 'others hold'. While you attempt to use less common vocabulary, the precision is occasionally lacking. To improve, focus on using collocations more accurately and proofreading for small spelling slips that can detract from the professional tone of your writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement ('other holds' instead of 'others hold') and missing articles ('According to time magazine' should be 'According to Time magazine'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma usage in complex sentences. You have a decent grasp of grammar, but the frequency of these minor errors prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on sentence variety and ensuring subject-verb agreement will help improve your accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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