Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-06
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
In the modern era, many individuals argue that primary schools focus only on academic studies, which are not important nowadays. On the other side, it is very crucial to play effective sports in primary school for children, rather than only focusing on studies. From my perspective, I agree with this statement. Sports and games also play a vital role in our daily lives, especially for children, because they make the body more energetic. In the following paragraphs, I shall explain both views and how sports and games make us healthier.
On the other hand, the major reason is that unnecessary studies are not bad; we can learn lots of new things, especially for children. However, we can learn numerous vocabulary words in our daily routine. For instance, youngsters also enjoy this kind of classes, and it makes them more energetic and has a positive impact on their mental health.
On the other hand, the notable advantage is that learning extra subjects can make children's communication skills better, while sports also play a paramount activity, especially in spare time. In addition, maintaining our curricular activities such as cricket, racket sports, and basketball, these kinds of games can make us healthier in many purposes. To illustrates, most humans like to play cricket in their free time because it is a famous game.
To sum up, teachers focus on unnecessary studies rather than course studies, while it is also good for our body language, and we can communicate easily. Additionally, I firmly believe that both views have positive aspects, but playing sports makes our body healthier in many beneficial ways.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response addresses the prompt but struggles with clarity and logical development. While you state your position, the arguments are often contradictory or confusing. For example, you mention that 'unnecessary studies are not bad' but fail to clearly link this to the prompt about formal learning. The discussion on the importance of play is present but lacks depth, relying on repetitive points about health rather than exploring the educational or developmental benefits of play in a primary school setting. To improve, ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that directly supports your stance.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay uses basic cohesive devices like 'In addition' and 'To sum up', but their usage is often mechanical or inappropriate for the context. The paragraphing is present, but the logical progression within paragraphs is weak. For instance, the second paragraph starts with 'On the other hand' despite not following a clear contrast from the previous paragraph. Referencing is sometimes unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow your line of reasoning. Improving the use of linking words to show logical relationships rather than just listing points would significantly enhance the flow.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is somewhat limited and repetitive. You frequently use words like 'energetic', 'studies', and 'good', which restricts the sophistication of your argument. There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'play effective sports' or 'maintaining our curricular activities', which do not sound natural in an academic context. To reach a higher band, you should aim to use more precise terminology related to education and child development, and focus on using collocations that are standard in English.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. Examples include 'To illustrates, most humans like to play' (incorrect verb form) and 'it makes them more energetic and has a positive impact' (vague pronoun reference). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are errors in sentence construction that affect clarity. You should focus on subject-verb agreement and ensuring that complex sentences are constructed accurately to avoid confusion.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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