Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Some individuals argue that elementary schools concentrate more on formal education. I strongly agree to these opinions, because childern at that tender age, requires a steady exposure to knowledge by means of teachings in a classroom to learn approprately. as well as it is also vital for school schol to combine learning with plays, these therefore cushion the effect and the boredom of being a classroom.

One significant reason I support schools primarily focusing formal education, is because parents majority focus on informal education such as teaching about respect, norms and etc whereby lacking in the capacity to imbibe formal education ability to read and write, this can only the taught in a classroom space by a teacher, So therefore I support primary school focusing formal education while parent handle the informal.

Furthermore, I am also inclined to support that children should also play while learning. this because learning a new idea or knowledge is demanding and boring thus it could negatively affect the health and mental status these children, when learn without excercise. for example, in jeddah primary school, they were able to achieve success on their teaching by making their pupil to

In conclusion, while some people are of the opinion that elementary school should focus on only formal education, I am more enclined to support both view that as well formal education is important, childern engaging play is also beneficial.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, which significantly impacts the development of ideas. While you address both parts of the prompt—the focus on formal learning and the importance of play—the arguments are underdeveloped. The example regarding 'jeddah primary school' is left incomplete, which prevents a full exploration of your ideas. To improve, you must ensure each point is supported with clear, complete examples and that you meet the length requirement to allow for a more thorough discussion of the topic.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the progression of ideas is often hindered by mechanical and sometimes inaccurate use of cohesive devices. For instance, 'So therefore' is redundant, and the transition between the importance of formal education and the need for play is abrupt. Paragraphing is present, but the internal flow within paragraphs is weak due to fragmented sentences and incomplete thoughts. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph focuses on a single, well-developed idea will enhance the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally limited and repetitive. You rely on basic terms like 'learning', 'education', and 'boring'. There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'imbibe formal education ability' and 'cushion the effect and the boredom'. While the meaning is generally clear, the range is not sufficient to demonstrate flexibility or precision. To reach a higher band, you should aim to use more academic collocations and precise terminology related to pedagogy and child development, while ensuring that words are used in their correct context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

There is a high frequency of grammatical errors throughout the text, including subject-verb agreement issues ('childern... requires'), punctuation errors, and awkward sentence structures. Many sentences are run-on or lack necessary articles and prepositions. While you attempt some complex structures, they are often faulty, which can occasionally cause difficulty for the reader. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, ensuring subject-verb agreement, and proofreading for common errors like missing articles and incorrect verb forms. Reducing the number of errors will significantly improve the clarity of your writing.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.