Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-06
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
It is extensively acknowledged that by few individuals believe that education authorities force children to learn more formal studies rather than playing sports.I totally agree, with proposed notion along with for my inclination reasons are glanced in ensuing paragraphs.
To commence , with it is true to say studies plays crucial role in learner as well as student life however, playing sports also important as formal studies. To explicate, playing sports assist children to refresh when studying alonf with that at one stage it also help to transfer memory in lon term memory if sports or any game played after study.For example, a survey was conducted by NSO National Sports Organisation in 2024 reveals that from 2020 ownwards 20% adolescent were depressed due to more focus to cover educational syllabus and never give time to walk in nature or to play game with anyone as a result they depressed. Hence, playing games help to stay helthy and active.
Furthermore, playing games and grasping knowledge they both have connection if they played in correct way or in correct then it boost the level learning or remembring thing. For instance, in 1989 a experiment was did by scientist Nikola Tomb he selected two groups for his experiment in one group he gave books to suspects to read and after 30 minutes he gave time to relax and in another group he did same as he did with previous group however this time he had not been gave time to relax or any break and in result it shows that a group who had a time to relax are capable to read as well as able to remember more topics which they read.
Agglomerating a aforementioned points can be concluded that sports help to activate the body parts as well as they study and sports are interlinked with each other.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. However, the development of ideas is somewhat repetitive and lacks depth. While the student provides examples, such as the NSO survey and the experiment by 'Nikola Tomb', these feel forced and lack clear integration into a sophisticated argument. The position is clear, but the supporting evidence is not fully convincing or well-explained. To improve, the student should focus on providing more nuanced reasoning rather than relying on potentially fabricated or poorly contextualized examples.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the logical progression is frequently interrupted by awkward phrasing and mechanical transitions. Phrases like 'To commence, with' and 'Agglomerating a aforementioned points' are used incorrectly, making the flow feel unnatural. While there is an attempt to use cohesive devices, they are often misused or placed in positions that hinder readability. The referencing is sometimes unclear, and the connection between sentences is often weak, requiring the reader to work harder to follow the writer's train of thought.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and often inaccurate. There are frequent errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'proposed notion', 'suspects' (used to refer to students), and 'Agglomerating' (used incorrectly for 'Summarizing'). The student attempts to use more formal language, but the lack of precision often leads to confusion. Spelling errors, such as 'alonf', 'helthy', and 'remembring', also detract from the overall quality. To reach a higher band, the student needs to focus on using words in their correct context and improving spelling accuracy.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains a high frequency of grammatical errors that frequently impede communication. There are persistent issues with subject-verb agreement ('studies plays'), article usage, and sentence structure. Many sentences are fragmented or run-on, such as 'I totally agree, with proposed notion along with for my inclination reasons are glanced in ensuing paragraphs.' The use of complex structures is attempted but is almost always faulty, leading to a lack of clarity. A focus on mastering basic sentence construction and proofreading for subject-verb agreement is essential for improvement.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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