Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is often argued by some people that primary schools emphasis too much on formal learning and it is very beneficial in different aspects. Although some people might disagree with this statement but i completely agree with this notion, not only because this approach can build strong academic foundation but also leading towrads a better career. This essay will explore how these factors justify my opinion.

Firstly, the predominent reason that complelled me to agree with this statement is that it can develop strong academic foundation by following fixed syllabus, time table and specific learning objectives. For example, children who advantaged from this type of structured education from young age may find it easier to learn complex subjects, when they enter at higher level. As a result, formal leaning can help students to prepare for their future. Thus, this factor can almost single handedly express my opinion.

However, on the other hand, it is very crucial for children to involve in some physical activites with their studies beacuse only foucs on formal learning can develop some drawbacks, one is that it can reduce the avaibale time for sports, games , art and other group activities. For instance, the children who rarely participate in outdoor activities suffer lack of confidince and communication skills. Therefore, totally focus on formal learning may negativly effect children's development.

To conculde, concentratng only on academic approach in primary school can help children to build strong foundation in their studies and prepare for future studies. Neverthless, too much emphasis on academics may limit their social, creative and physical develoment. So it is important to maintain balance between fomal education and extra activies in primary schools.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. The position is clear throughout, although the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the argument for formal learning is supported by the mention of a 'fixed syllabus,' but the explanation remains quite general. Similarly, the discussion on the importance of play is relevant but could be further extended with more specific examples of how play fosters cognitive or social growth. Overall, the response covers all requirements, but the depth of analysis is more consistent with a Band 6.0 level, as some points are slightly under-developed.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is logically organized into four paragraphs, with a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Cohesive devices such as 'Firstly,' 'However,' 'For instance,' and 'To conclude' are used to guide the reader through the argument. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly repetitive. Referencing is generally clear, though the flow between sentences could be improved to sound more natural. The paragraphing is appropriate, and there is a clear progression of ideas from the benefits of formal learning to the necessity of a balanced approach.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing the writer to convey their meaning clearly. There are attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as 'predominent' (misspelled) and 'single handedly,' but there are frequent spelling errors throughout the text, such as 'emphasis' (used as a verb), 'towrads,' 'complelled,' 'confidince,' and 'negativly.' While these errors do not impede communication, they are noticeable and suggest a lack of control over spelling. To reach a higher band, the student should focus on accuracy in word choice and spelling, and aim for more precise collocations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The student uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While there are attempts at complex sentences, such as 'children who advantaged from this type of structured education...', there are consistent grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues ('primary schools emphasis') and incorrect verb forms ('children who advantaged'). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are minor errors in sentence construction. The errors are frequent enough to be noticeable, but they rarely impede the reader's understanding of the main points. Increasing the variety of error-free complex structures would help improve this score.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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