Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-07
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
It is widely acknowledged that few individuals beleive education authorities force children to learn more formal studies instead of playing sports.I totally agree with the proposed notion and for my inclination reasons are glanced in ensuing paragraphs.
To commence with, it is true to say studies play crucial role in learner's life however, playing sports also vital as formal studies. To explicate, playing sports assists children to refresh when when studying along with that at one stage it also helps to transfer memory in long term memory if any sports or any game played after study. For example, a survey was conducted by NSO National Sports Organisation in 2024 that reveals from 2024 onwards 20% adolescents were depressed due to more focus to cover educational syllabus and never gave time to walk in nature or to play game with anyone as a result were depressed. Hence, playing games helps to stay healthy and active.
Furthermore, playing game and grasping knowledge they both are interlinked with each other if they plays in correct way and correct manner it boosts the level of learning and remembering things. For instance, in 1989 an experiment was conducted by scientist Nikola Tomb he selected two groups for his experiment in one group he gave books to suspects to read and after 30 minutes he gave time to relax and in another group he did same as he did with previous group however, this time he had not been give time to relax or any break and in result it shows that a group who a time to relax were capable to read as well as able to remember more topics which they read.
Summerizing the aforementioned points can be concluded that sports help to activate the body parts as well as study and sports are interlinked with each other
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. While you provide examples, such as the NSO survey and the Nikola Tomb experiment, these lack depth and clarity in their connection to the core argument. The position is clear, but the supporting arguments are repetitive and rely on somewhat simplistic reasoning. To reach a higher band, ensure that your examples are more clearly integrated and that your arguments are fully extended rather than just stated. The conclusion is also quite brief and does not effectively synthesize the main points.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. For example, phrases like 'To commence with' and 'Summerizing the aforementioned points' are used, but the internal flow between sentences is frequently disrupted by awkward phrasing and grammatical errors. Referencing is sometimes unclear, such as in the second paragraph where the connection between the survey and the conclusion is weak. Paragraphing is present, but the logical progression of ideas within the paragraphs needs to be smoother to achieve a higher score.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. You use some relevant terms like 'education authorities' and 'educational syllabus', but there is a reliance on basic vocabulary and some incorrect word choices, such as 'suspects' instead of 'participants' in the experiment example. There are also issues with word formation and collocation, such as 'playing sports also vital' (missing verb) and 'transfer memory in long term memory'. To improve, focus on using more precise academic vocabulary and ensuring correct collocations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. Issues include missing articles, subject-verb agreement errors (e.g., 'if they plays'), and awkward sentence construction (e.g., 'he had not been give time'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with missing commas and run-on sentences. While you attempt complex structures, the high frequency of errors means that the majority of your sentences are not error-free. Focusing on basic sentence accuracy and proofreading for missing verbs and articles would significantly improve your score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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