Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

It has been observed that some persons complain that formal education has become the sole area of concentration in primary schools. To a great extent, I agree to this argument.

Firstly, primary schools have become more serious than it used to be. There is a usual proverb that says, "all work and no play makes jack a dull boy". A decade back, schools used to include recreational activities to their school timetable. During this period, the pupils participate in what was called PE, meaning physical exercise. This was a designated day when all the children are expected to come to school with their sports wear. They spend two to three hours in the playground, exercising and playing with their friends and classmates. This period is not just about playing, it's a time when the kids exercise their mind and body. Apart from this assigned day, schools used to have what was called break time. During this time, the kids are given 30 minutes to stretch their body, eat their snacks and play. This helps them to relax and cool off from the hours they sat down listening to their teacher. But today, this culture has been abolished. Children sit from 8am to 4pm listening to their teacher, with their mental exhaustion not being put into consideration.

It is very important for children to be given the opportunity to play and learn in the classroom. The brain of these kids are still developing and so they don't need things that would exhaust the brain. If adults require breaks in-between studies, children should be given more consideration. For kids, playing is also a form of learning. Not everything can be taught in the classroom, some habits and life lessons are also learnt during play time. Research has shown that after interviewing adults who attended primary school between 10 to 15 years ago, most of them attest that some of the lessons they learnt during their recreational time in primary school is what keeps them going. Some also said that they would never forget the memories made from then.

In conclusion, steps should be taken on educating primary school headmasters on the importance of including recreational time in their school curriculum.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding the focus on formal learning and the importance of play. The position is clear from the introduction. Ideas are relevant, such as the mention of 'PE' and 'break time' as historical examples, and the argument that play is a form of learning. However, the development is somewhat repetitive, and the reliance on personal anecdotes or generalisations about 'research' without specific detail limits the depth of the argument. To reach a higher band, the student should provide more nuanced analysis of why schools have shifted towards formal learning, rather than just describing the loss of play time.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organised with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the two main points of the prompt. Cohesive devices are present, such as 'Firstly', 'Apart from this', and 'In conclusion', though some transitions feel slightly mechanical. The progression of ideas is generally smooth, although the link between the historical description of PE and the broader argument about modern educational philosophy could be tighter. Referencing is generally clear, though some sentences are slightly disjointed.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing the student to express their ideas clearly. There are some attempts at less common collocations, such as 'mental exhaustion' and 'recreational activities'. However, the range is somewhat limited, and there is a reliance on simpler phrasing (e.g., 'things that would exhaust the brain'). Some word choices are slightly imprecise, such as 'some persons complain' instead of 'some people argue' or 'critics suggest'. Overall, the vocabulary is sufficient to communicate the message without difficulty, but lacks the sophistication required for a higher band.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The student uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('The brain of these kids are still developing') and tense inconsistencies ('primary schools have become more serious than it used to be'). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are minor errors in comma usage and apostrophes (e.g., 'kids' vs 'kid's'). While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. The student should focus on proofreading for basic agreement and tense consistency.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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