Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.0)

Yes, i am totally agree with the primary schools that just focus on formal learning to students because they just thought that students learn the formal learning because, but they don't know it is also important to learn the advance learning because the students will know the more technology of learning

but in the school, it is only few classes they just focus on formal learning, and some schools doesn't start with formal learning they start with good learning

most of the primary school they just focus on learning they don't allow children to play in school classroom it is very important for the primary school's student to play also because it helps the students to learn because all are kids they cant learn all the time

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, reaching only 127 words. Consequently, the development of ideas is severely limited. While the student attempts to address the prompt by discussing formal learning and the importance of play, the arguments are underdeveloped and repetitive. The position is unclear due to grammatical confusion in the opening sentence, and the response lacks the depth and supporting examples required for an academic essay. To improve, the student must expand on their points with specific examples and ensure all parts of the prompt are addressed in a structured manner.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0

The essay lacks a clear structure. There is no introduction, body, or conclusion, and the paragraphing is ineffective. The use of cohesive devices is very limited, with sentences often linked by simple conjunctions like 'but' or 'because' in a repetitive manner. The progression of ideas is difficult to follow, as the transition between the importance of formal learning and the necessity of play is abrupt and lacks logical flow. To improve, the student should use clear paragraph breaks and a wider range of linking words such as 'furthermore', 'consequently', or 'in contrast' to connect ideas logically.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.0

The vocabulary is basic and repetitive, relying heavily on simple terms like 'learning', 'school', and 'students'. There is a lack of variety and precision, and the student struggles to express complex ideas due to limited word choice. Phrases like 'advance learning' and 'good learning' are vague and do not demonstrate the academic register required for IELTS. To improve, the student should focus on learning topic-specific vocabulary related to education, such as 'academic curriculum', 'holistic development', 'extracurricular activities', and 'pedagogical approaches', while avoiding the constant repetition of basic words.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

The response contains frequent grammatical errors that impede communication. There are significant issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'some schools doesn't start'), sentence structure (e.g., 'Yes, i am totally agree'), and punctuation. The essay consists mostly of simple sentences with some attempts at complex structures that are often faulty or confusing. The misuse of 'because' and 'but' as primary connectors leads to run-on sentences and fragmented thoughts. To improve, the student needs to focus on basic sentence construction, correct verb tenses, and the proper use of articles and pronouns.

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