Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Unanimously, in this period of modernity man people tend to think that primary schools focus too much on formal education. This has been prominent topic of discussion amongst people. Well, in my opinion, I strongly agree with this given notion and the supporting toward my view will be discussed in further paragraphs with a suitable conclusion.

Firstly, supporting my agreement to the given statement, I firmly have a belief that at an age when kids need to learn about morals, ethics, good habits, making new friends they ended up pressurised by their surrounding be it colony they live in or school. Additionally, another aspect which propels my view is they are taught like they are just another test subject of everyone's expectation or dreams which their teacher or parents could not achieved. For instance, in south Asia and southeast Asia the guardians are sending their kids to tuition classes after their school has ended, so that they can ace their standard in school and do not lack in any subject.

Secondly, another supporting aspect in favour this statement is, there is no paradox that competition is growing at a fast rate not just in the education but in sports as well. It is important for children to study while also focuses on playing because as much as mental aspect of a young mind needs development, the physical qualities needs that too. Hence, it is necessary that for schools to build a management where both aspects can be taken care of. To exemplify, some children have talent in sports while some in studies, some are born to be athlete whereas a researcher, or an administrator, etc.

In conclusion, i pen down highlighting that the aforementioned given pointers heavily support my sense of belief regarding the education system which are worthy enough to strongly support my view point. To make it more effective a joint effort is needed by parents, teachers, government and even students.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. The position is clear throughout. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention the pressure on children in South Asia, the argument could be strengthened by providing more specific examples of how play specifically benefits cognitive or social development. The conclusion is a bit repetitive and does not fully synthesize the points made. To reach a higher band, ensure that each paragraph provides a deeper analysis of the 'why' and 'how' rather than just stating the existence of a problem.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas. You use some cohesive devices such as 'Firstly', 'Additionally', and 'In conclusion'. However, some transitions feel mechanical or slightly awkward, such as 'there is no paradox that competition is growing'. The referencing is occasionally unclear, and the flow between sentences could be smoother. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensuring that the relationship between sentences is always explicit and natural.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to express your ideas clearly. You use some relevant terms like 'formal education', 'ethics', and 'management'. However, there are several instances of imprecise word choice and awkward phrasing, such as 'man people' (likely a typo for 'many people'), 'supporting toward my view', and 'standard in school'. The range of vocabulary is somewhat limited, and there is a reliance on basic structures. Incorporating more precise academic collocations would help elevate your score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow. Examples include 'which their teacher or parents could not achieved' (tense error), 'in favour this statement' (missing preposition), and 'it is necessary that for schools to build' (unnecessary preposition). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are minor errors throughout. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and consistent verb tense usage. Increasing the accuracy of your complex sentences will be key to moving into the 7.0 band.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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