Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

some people argue that primary school focus too much on formal education. Formal education is very important for a primary school students because it helps them in their secondary education.

I agree this opinion because i think the early education as a formal it is very important for primary school students because they help in their brain development and teach many manner which help in their life to upgrade their life standard. Formal education plays important role in early school students to teach many things like it's a base of life '

In every developed country sports also have important role in their education system. i think it also a good for children to play as well as learn education in the primary school classroom. Play activates is also very important for the body development also same as brain development. With playing games student become active in their daily tasks.

I have example regarding this. In developed country like south Korea, government strictly order to the education department to add playing activities in primary school students' course because they think that school children's learn many when they are playing their games rather than studying in classroom. In classroom student learn from books and focus on one thing related to this topic. but when they are playing, they learn many things.

In conclusion the formal education plays many important roles in the early school going students. And on the other hand, playing games also have many effect in their life and prepare students for secondary education. Brain development is very important, so formal education is helpful for this.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. However, the development is inconsistent. While you provide a clear stance, the arguments are somewhat repetitive and lack depth. For instance, the explanation of why formal education is a 'base of life' is vague. The example regarding South Korea is relevant but could be better integrated to support your argument more persuasively. To improve, ensure each paragraph introduces a distinct, well-supported idea rather than restating the same points about brain development.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or repetitive. Phrases like 'In conclusion' and 'on the other hand' are used, but the internal flow between sentences is sometimes disjointed. For example, the transition between the importance of formal education and the introduction of sports is abrupt. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring that each sentence logically follows the previous one would significantly enhance the coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision required for a higher band. You rely on basic terms such as 'important', 'good', and 'many', which limits the sophistication of your argument. There are also some awkward collocations, such as 'play activates' instead of 'play activities' and 'government strictly order' instead of 'government strictly mandates'. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise academic vocabulary and ensuring that words are used in their correct grammatical form.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'primary school focus' instead of 'focuses'), missing articles (e.g., 'in developed country'), and incorrect verb forms (e.g., 'children's learn' instead of 'children learn'). While the meaning is generally understandable, these persistent errors in basic grammar prevent the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on proofreading for subject-verb agreement and article usage would be highly beneficial.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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