Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Unanimously, in this period of modernity many people tend to think that primary schools focus too much on formal education. This has been a prominent topic of discussion amongst people. Well, I strongly agree with this given notion and the supporting arguments my view will be discussed in further paragraphs with a suitable conclusion.

Firstly, supporting my agreement to the given statement, I firmly have a belief that at an age when kids need to learn about morals, ethics, good habits and new friends they end up pressurised by their surrounding be it the colony they live in or school. Additionally, another aspect which propels my view is they are taught like they are just another test subject of everyone's expectation or dreams which their teacher or parents could not achieve. For instance, in south Asia and southeast Asia the guardians are sending their kids to tuition classes after their school has ended, so that they can ace their standard in school and do not lack in any subject.

Secondly, another supporting aspect in favour of statement is, there is no paradox that competition is growing at a fast rate not just in the education but in sports as well. It is important for children to study while also focusing on playing because as much as mental aspect of a young mind need development, the physical qualities needs that too. Hence, it is necessary for schools to build a management where both aspects can be taken care of. To exemplify, some children have talent in sports while some in studies, some are born to be athletes whereas a researcher, or an administrator, etc.

In conclusion, i pen down highlighting that the aforementioned given pointers heavily support my sense of belief regarding the education system which are worthy enough to strongly support my view point. To make it more effective a joint effort is needed by parents, teachers, government and even students.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

You have addressed both parts of the prompt, expressing a clear position on the focus of primary education and the importance of play. Your ideas are relevant, particularly the mention of academic pressure in South Asia. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat superficial. For example, you mention that children need to learn 'morals and ethics,' but you do not explain how play specifically facilitates this compared to formal learning. To reach a higher band, ensure that each point is fully extended with more specific reasoning or illustrative examples that directly link back to the prompt's core question about the balance between play and formal study.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is logically organized into clear paragraphs, and you use basic cohesive devices like 'Firstly,' 'Additionally,' and 'In conclusion' to guide the reader. However, some transitions feel mechanical or slightly awkward, such as 'there is no paradox that competition is growing.' The referencing is occasionally unclear, and the flow between sentences could be smoother. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of cohesive devices and ensure that the relationship between your ideas is more explicitly stated rather than relying on simple listing transitions.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'prominent topic,' 'propels my view,' and 'aforementioned.' However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'supporting my agreement to the given statement' (which is slightly unnatural) and 'build a management' (where 'system' or 'framework' would be more appropriate). You occasionally rely on repetitive phrasing. To achieve a higher score, try to incorporate more precise academic collocations and avoid wordy, redundant expressions.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but your control over them is inconsistent. There are several grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('physical qualities needs that too') and awkward phrasing ('i pen down highlighting that'). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are minor slips throughout. While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. Focus on proofreading for basic subject-verb agreement and ensuring that complex sentences are constructed with grammatical precision.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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