Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

undeniably, there is not doubt education plays significant role every individual life for their bright career. While, there are some people who think that elementary educational schools have only attention on academic studies. I am strongly disagree with that notion where i would like to explain my views in upcoming paragraphs.

To begin, there are several reasons why primary schools should not only focus on rote learning. The first and predominant one is, it has detrimental impact on their students health, because they spent to much time only on their studies instead of participate in different activities as well as playing games. During hectic schedule they do not have time to spent with their family members and friends. However, with the excessive pressure of their studies and doing long syllabus, students always feel bored and less energetic now these days. it makes their life more stressful instead of enjoying their work. for example, lots of students who are only giving attention on their studies, it makes them bookworm. it has negative impact on their mental and physical health like, eye-sight problems, stress , anxiety.

Moreover, there are few other other causes why schools not only take care of formal learning. The first and foremost reason is , formal learning is not only important for children growth and development. there are some other things, which are equally major for children mental and physical growth. sitting at the desk does not teach kids how to communicate with others, how to share things with others and how to resolve conflicts and problems. Playing games and participate in recreational activities are also very essential for children life. it will help them to create bond with their friends and it will help them to make strong social connection with different kids. Apart from this, participate in different activities makes children growth more stronger, it will boost their energy and it keeps them fit and healthy.

In conclusion, education makes individual life much better Altough, it provides people with their career opportunities. However, i strongly believe that academic studies should not be sole focus in elementary schools as play remains necessary for children development.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: it takes a clear position against the idea that schools focus too much on formal learning and discusses the importance of play. The ideas are relevant, such as the mention of social skills and physical health. However, the development is somewhat repetitive, and the arguments could be more nuanced. For instance, the discussion on 'rote learning' is a bit generic. To reach a higher band, you should provide more specific examples or deeper analysis of how play specifically translates into long-term educational benefits, rather than just listing general health benefits.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the argument. There is an attempt to use cohesive devices like 'To begin', 'Moreover', and 'In conclusion'. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly inaccurate, such as the awkward transition 'there are few other other causes'. Additionally, some sentences lack logical flow, and the referencing is occasionally unclear. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each sentence logically follows the previous one would significantly enhance the coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the precision and range required for higher bands. You use some basic phrases like 'bright career' and 'make strong social connection', which are functional but not sophisticated. There are also some word-choice errors, such as 'doing long syllabus' instead of 'a heavy curriculum' or 'academic workload'. To improve, focus on learning collocations and more academic vocabulary related to education and child development. Avoid repetitive phrasing and try to incorporate more precise terminology to express your ideas more effectively.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout. Common issues include missing articles ('in individual life'), subject-verb agreement errors ('schools not only take care'), and punctuation mistakes. For example, 'i strongly believe' should be capitalized, and there are several instances of run-on sentences or comma splices. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to distract the reader. You should focus on proofreading your work to correct basic errors in tense, articles, and sentence structure.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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