Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

In modern society, primary schools play a crucial role in early development of children. A group of people believe that these schools emphasize more on formal learning than practical practices. I agree with this notion for a large extent and I think that both primary learning and sports are essential for overall growth.

The main reason for which schools give importance to formal learning is the lack of professional growth and guaranteed success in future career. Most of the parents consider that academic success is crucial for securing better future rather than playing or other recreational activities. Take football as an example, an individual might be a good football player but there is a high chance that they might not get into professional playing. Hence, the primary focus of early learning is academic success. Furthermore, lack of concentration in academic studies due to sports is another major reason. When students start playing along with their academic course, it becomes hard for them to manage their time in distinct activities which could result in lower academic results. Consequently, less marks in major subjects also create hurdle to get into better colleges and universities.

Moving towards, the benefits of sports along with academic learning, the primary benefit is the global development of children. While formal learning promises a better score, indulging pupils in games help them to develop essential skills like team work, patience and coordination. Therefore, acquiring these skills helps them not only to be successful in academic field but also in society and professional growth. Moreover, balancing sports and formal learning also benefits their physical and mental health. For example, many scientific studies have proven positive impacts of physical activity for concentration and relaxing. Thus, playing helps to reduce anxiety and chronical stress.

To conclude, even though importance of formal learning is unquestionable, the role played by games and physical activities cannot be ignored for the overall development of children including better concentration and development of coordination and team work.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding the focus on formal learning and the importance of play. The position is clear throughout. The ideas are relevant, though the development is somewhat uneven. For instance, the argument regarding the 'lack of professional growth' as a reason for focusing on academics is a bit simplistic. The second body paragraph provides better support by linking play to 'global development' and specific skills like 'team work'. To reach a higher band, the student should provide more nuanced examples and ensure that the link between the arguments and the prompt remains tight throughout the essay.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the two main ideas. Cohesive devices such as 'Furthermore', 'Consequently', and 'Moreover' are used to guide the reader, although some transitions like 'Moving towards' are slightly unnatural. The progression of ideas is generally clear, though the connection between the first body paragraph's focus on 'career success' and the prompt's focus on 'primary school' could be more explicitly bridged to avoid sounding like a general discussion on education rather than specifically primary education.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing the student to express their ideas clearly. There are some good collocations such as 'overall growth', 'unquestionable', and 'physical and mental health'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and phrasing, such as 'practical practices' (redundant), 'less marks' (should be 'fewer marks'), and 'chronical stress' (should be 'chronic stress'). The range is sufficient to convey meaning, but the use of less common lexical items is limited and occasionally imprecise, which prevents the essay from reaching a higher band.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The student uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors that occur throughout the text. Examples include 'A group of people believe that these schools emphasize more on formal learning' (should be 'emphasize formal learning'), 'I agree with this notion for a large extent' (should be 'to a large extent'), and 'indulging pupils in games help them' (subject-verb agreement error: 'helps'). Despite these errors, they do not impede communication, and the student demonstrates a reasonable grasp of sentence construction.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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