Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 7.0)

There is a growing concern that primary schools place excessive emphasis on formal academic learning. While I agree that some schools may give too much importance to textbooks, examinations and homework, I believe that academic education is essential for children. However, play should also be an integral part of primary education because it contributes significantly to children's social, emotional and cognitive development.

On the one hand, formal learning provides children with the fundamental knowledge and skills they need for their future education. Subjects help students develop their ability to read, write, calculate and think logically. Moreover, developing good study habits from an early age can prepare children for the increasing academic demands they will face in secondary school and beyond. Therefore, completely replacing formal education with recreational activities would not be a sensible approach.

On the other hand, excessive academic pressure can have negative effects on young children. primary school students generally have shorter attention spans, so spending several hours listening to teachers or completing written exercises may make them bored and less interested in learning. In contrast, play-based activities can make lessons more engaging and enjoyable. For example, teachers can use educational games, puzzles, role-playing and outdoor activities to teach mathematical concepts, communication skills and problem-solving. Such activities can also encourage children to develop creativity and become more confident.

In conclusion, although formal learning is necessary in primary school, I agree that excessive emphasis on it can be productive. In my view, play is not simply a way of entertaining children; it is another effective method of learning. This would allow children to acquire essential academic knowledge while also developing important social and life skills.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.5

The response addresses all parts of the prompt clearly. You have established a consistent position throughout the essay, acknowledging the necessity of formal learning while arguing for the integration of play. The ideas are well-developed, particularly in the second and third paragraphs, where you provide logical justifications for both sides of the argument. The conclusion effectively synthesizes your position. To reach a higher band, you could provide more specific, real-world examples of how play-based learning is implemented in successful primary school systems to further strengthen the depth of your argument.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear progression of ideas. Each paragraph has a central theme, and the transition between the benefits of formal learning and the advantages of play is smooth. You use a range of cohesive devices effectively, such as 'On the one hand', 'Moreover', 'In contrast', and 'In conclusion'. The paragraphing is appropriate and contributes to the overall clarity of the argument. The flow is natural, and the relationship between sentences is consistently logical, making the text very easy to follow.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

You demonstrate a good range of vocabulary appropriate for an academic context. Phrases such as 'excessive emphasis', 'integral part', 'cognitive development', and 'fundamental knowledge' are used accurately. There is a clear attempt to use less common lexical items, and your word choice is generally precise. While the vocabulary is sufficient and effective, incorporating a few more sophisticated collocations or idiomatic academic expressions could elevate the response further. Spelling is accurate throughout the text.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 7.0

The essay displays a good variety of complex sentence structures, such as the use of conditional and concessive clauses (e.g., 'While I agree that...', 'Although formal learning is necessary...'). The majority of your sentences are error-free, and your control over punctuation is strong. There is a minor slip in the third paragraph where 'primary school students' should be capitalized at the start of the sentence. Overall, the grammatical control is consistent, and the structures used are varied enough to support a clear and sophisticated argument.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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