Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Through different forms of print and digital media we across reports that, some schools are only focusing on the book knowledge and avoiding the physical activities like sports. I disagree to the laid motive to a certain extent. The valid arguments for my stand will be mentioned in the forthcoming paragraphs.

The foremost reason for my stand is, the children will be deprived from outside world. By this i mean that, if school authorities is only focusing on the theory then children will not get to know about the outside world. As a result, he may not able to compete in other aspects like competitions. Apart from that, it can also affect pupils' physical strength. Generally speaking, if schools are not arranging physical activities in curriculum then the children will not able to be fit, and they may feel lazy sometimes.

Another reason for my stand is, if the schools are managing formal learning along with the sports activities then it can be beneficial form children in all aspects. By this i mean that, if both the activities are equally focused then pupils may able to score high as well as will get the rank in sports field. Moreover, some time focusing on too much on formal learning can be frustrating for pupils. As a matter of fact, if students have to follow only formal studies it can lead to the depression state. As a result, it may affect their mental health.

However, I can not neglect the other side some times students are taking advantage of liberal rules. Generally speaking, some times students only focus on playing and other activities rather than study. As a result, their score in formal study may get down and some times they have to repeat the same grade.

Overall, down the lane school authorities will provide both formal and practical knowledge to the pupils. It is recommended that, authorities should keep eye on every activities of children and try to ensure their growth.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding the focus on formal learning and the importance of play. The position is clear throughout, although the development of ideas is somewhat repetitive. For instance, the argument about 'outside world' and 'physical strength' is mentioned in the second paragraph, but the explanation lacks depth and specific examples. The third paragraph touches on mental health, which is a relevant point, but the connection between formal learning and 'depression state' is a significant over-generalisation. To improve, you should provide more concrete examples or nuanced explanations to support your claims rather than relying on broad assertions.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, each with a clear central topic. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'The foremost reason', 'Another reason', and 'However', which help guide the reader. However, some transitions are mechanical or slightly unnatural, such as 'By this i mean that' used twice in quick succession. Additionally, the referencing is occasionally unclear; for example, in the final paragraph, 'down the lane' is an inappropriate idiom for this context, and the connection between the previous paragraph and the conclusion is somewhat abrupt. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring they fit the academic tone would enhance the flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the precision and variety required for a higher band. You use basic terms like 'book knowledge', 'outside world', and 'lazy', which are repetitive. There are also some awkward collocations and word choices, such as 'laid motive', 'depression state', and 'get down' (for grades). While the meaning is generally clear, the range is limited, and there is little evidence of less common lexical items or sophisticated phrasing. To achieve a higher score, focus on using more academic collocations and precise terminology related to education and child development.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'if school authorities is only focusing', 'children will not able to be fit'), missing articles ('in curriculum'), and incorrect preposition usage. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are persistent throughout the text. To improve, pay closer attention to basic grammar rules, particularly verb forms and article usage, and try to incorporate more varied complex sentence structures with greater accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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