Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-08
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Education plays an important role for shaping the right knowledge and skills. It helps children to enforce more information related to their studies. Some people believe that the primary school most of the time focus too much on formal learning. I completely disagree with this opinion and with importance of playing games.
To begin with, education is beneficial for students to enforce right guidance. Many primary school more rely on formal learning instead of practical skills. Schools to much focus on books, exams and assignments instead of physical activities. Students can not have enough time for play and creativity. Also, they can start feeling pressure and stress over time due to heavy workloads. Learning become boring and memorization-based which is affects students life. Foe example, excessive rely on formal education can place unnecessary pressure on young learners.
On the other hand, play is essential for the overall development of children. It helps them improve social skills such as teamwork, communication, and problem-solving. In addition, sports activities support emotional and mental growth by reducing stress and making learning enjoyable. For instance, children participants in group games, they not only have fun but also learn how to cooperate with team members. That's why it encourages more and more students play into primary education is vital for balanced development.
In conclusion, I agree that primary school to much focus on formal learning, which can negatively affect young children. Moreover, primary school focus more play and extra curricular activities for development of children. It gives more information and helps later life for better future and career.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses both parts of the prompt, but the position is inconsistent. In the introduction, you state you 'completely disagree' that schools focus too much on formal learning, yet in the conclusion, you state you 'agree that primary school to much focus on formal learning'. This contradiction makes your overall stance unclear. While you provide relevant ideas regarding the benefits of play, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited by the repetitive nature of the arguments and the lack of a clear, sustained position. To improve, ensure your thesis statement is consistent throughout the essay and that each body paragraph directly supports that central argument.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the progression of ideas is sometimes hindered by awkward phrasing and mechanical use of cohesive devices. For example, 'That's why it encourages more and more students play into primary education is vital' is grammatically disjointed and makes the logical connection difficult to follow. While you use transition words like 'To begin with' and 'In addition', the internal flow within paragraphs is often interrupted by grammatical errors. Improving the logical flow between sentences and ensuring that pronouns clearly refer back to their intended nouns would significantly enhance the coherence of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it is somewhat repetitive and lacks precision. You rely on basic terms like 'important', 'good', and 'fun'. There are also instances of incorrect word choice or collocation, such as 'enforce more information' (likely meaning 'acquire' or 'absorb') and 'excessive rely' (should be 'excessive reliance'). To reach a higher band, you should aim to use a wider range of vocabulary, including less common lexical items and more precise collocations. Focusing on word forms (e.g., using 'reliance' instead of 'rely') will also help improve the sophistication of your writing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('primary school most of the time focus'), missing articles, and incorrect verb forms ('children participants in group games'). There are also several sentence fragments and run-on sentences that affect clarity. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of errors prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on basic sentence construction, specifically subject-verb agreement and correct verb tense usage, will be the most effective way to improve your score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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