Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Education plays an important role to shaping the right knowledge and skills. It helps children to gain more information related to their studies. Some people believe that the primary school most of the time focus too much on formal learning. I completely agree with this opinion and with importance of playing games.

To begin with, education is beneficial for students to enforce right guidance. Many primary school rely more on formal learning instead of practical skills. Schools too much focus on books, exams and assignments instead of physical activities. Students cannot have enough time for play and creativity. Also, they can start feeling pressure and stress over time due to heavy workloads. Learning become boring and memorization-based which affects students life. Foe example, excessive rely on formal education can place unnecessary pressure on young learners.

On the other hand, play is essential for the overall development of children. It helps them improve social skills such as teamwork, communication, and problem-solving. In addition, sports activities support emotional and mental growth by reducing stress and making learning enjoyable. For instance, children participants in group games, they not only have fun but also learn how to cooperate with team members. That's why it encourages more and more students play into primary education is vital for balanced development.

In conclusion, I agree that primary school to much focus on formal learning, which can negatively affect young children. Moreover, primary school focus more play and extra curricular activities for development of children. It gives more information and helps later life for better future and career.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. The position is clear from the introduction. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention that formal learning causes stress and that play improves social skills, these points could be expanded with more specific examples or deeper analysis to reach a higher band. The conclusion is a bit repetitive and does not fully synthesize the arguments presented. To improve, ensure each body paragraph provides a more detailed explanation of 'why' and 'how' rather than just stating the points.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. You use some cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'On the other hand', and 'In addition' to guide the reader. However, some transitions are mechanical or slightly awkward, such as 'That's why it encourages more and more students play into primary education is vital'. The referencing is occasionally unclear, and the flow between sentences could be smoother. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each sentence logically follows the previous one will help improve the overall coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to express your ideas clearly. You use some relevant topic-specific terms like 'formal learning', 'practical skills', and 'extra-curricular activities'. However, there are instances of imprecise word choice and collocation errors, such as 'enforce right guidance' (instead of 'provide proper guidance') and 'excessive rely' (instead of 'excessive reliance'). The range of vocabulary is somewhat limited, and you tend to repeat basic words. To achieve a higher score, try to incorporate more precise synonyms and collocations related to education and child development.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('Many primary school rely', 'Learning become boring'), missing articles ('affects students life'), and awkward phrasing ('primary school to much focus'). While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are noticeable and occur regularly. To improve, focus on mastering basic subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles. Additionally, try to construct more complex sentences with greater accuracy to demonstrate better control over your grammar.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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