Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

According to a few individuals, the major focus of primary school is structured learning. Although theoretical knowledge is a crucial part of education, I am inclined to believe that exposure to extracurricular activities plays a vital role in personal development for children during primary school.

In recent times, primary education providers focus much on institutional learning. During early age, children are capable of adapting to a vast source of theoretical knowledge because of their growing brain. The primary institution aims to include the majority syllabus in order to build a strong base for students for future development. For instance, the English language is very difficult to learn if it is not a student's mother tongue, by learning basic grammar from primary school, students can grasp a strong hand on language.

However, only theoretical learning can prevent students from personal development. The education system should involve play time during school hours. There are many advantages of sports inclusion in a primary school classroom. Firstly, children can develop interest in extracurricular activities at an early age which can lead to a career option. For example, in India, primary schools schedule interschool cricket matches to encourage players and support their interest in sports. The second benefit would be understanding of group efforts. The primary schools can plan a game competition among teams so that students can learn the importance of group work.

In conclusion, I do not agree with the education system where focus is only on formal learning. In my perspective, a combination of theoretical knowledge and extracurricular activities such as sports can foster academic and personal growth of students.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. The position is clear throughout. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While the argument for formal learning is touched upon, the explanation of why it might be considered 'too much' is underdeveloped. The examples provided, such as the mention of cricket in India, are relevant but could be more deeply integrated into the argument to show how they specifically balance the curriculum. To reach a higher band, ensure that the reasoning for each point is fully explored rather than just stated.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the two main ideas. Cohesive devices such as 'However', 'Firstly', and 'In conclusion' are used to guide the reader. However, some transitions are slightly mechanical, and the flow between sentences could be smoother. For instance, the transition between the discussion of English language learning and the shift to extracurricular activities is a bit abrupt. Overall, the progression of ideas is clear, and the essay maintains a consistent focus on the topic throughout.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task. You use some good collocations like 'personal development', 'theoretical knowledge', and 'extracurricular activities'. There are some minor inaccuracies in word choice, such as 'grasp a strong hand on language' (should be 'grasp of') and 'primary institution' (should be 'primary school'). The range is sufficient to convey your meaning clearly, but it lacks the sophistication and precision required for higher bands. To improve, focus on using more precise academic collocations and avoiding slightly awkward phrasing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is always clear, there are several grammatical slips. For example, 'primary education providers focus much on' is slightly unnatural; 'focus heavily on' would be better. There are also minor errors in article usage and preposition choice, such as 'during early age' (should be 'at an early age'). Despite these errors, the grammar does not impede communication. To achieve a higher score, aim for more error-free complex sentences and greater variety in your sentence structure.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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