Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

There is a common perception that formal learning is more prioritized in schools. I partially agree on the given statement because play should be necessary for children in terms of creative learning rather than being involved in complete formal education. In this essay I provide both the viewpoints.

To begin with, in the modern era people focus more on learning skills somehow it is not obstacle in professional growth. One reason is that the children nowadays preferred to learn from some newly developed and creative topics such as play, learning on musical instrument and so on. Moreover, extra-curricular activities must be included in school curriculum because it creates significant contribution of child overall development. For instance- children who are more indulged in co-curricular activities develops more interest in school education. Therefore, play and other activities play a vital role in a children's school life.

Furthermore, some people believe that formal education is the best way to taught children due to that schools are focusing more on providing formal learning. However, this kind or learning provides academic exposure along with real-world experience. Meanwhile, to excelled in the field of academics formal learning is necessary as it provides better career opportunity in education field. According to statistics, people learning from formal education since their upbringing tends to land higher jobs as it develops more discipline and consistency to work. Consequently, formal education is crucial to gain management skills and better employment opportunity.

In conclusion, from my perspective it is essential to learn from the both approaches. It is primarily because formal education provides you better career opportunity. Meanwhile, play and co-curriculars are necessary to develop interest in learning.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. For instance, the argument for play is supported by general statements about 'creative learning' rather than specific, well-reasoned examples. The discussion on formal education is also quite generic, relying on broad claims about 'higher jobs' without deep analysis. While the position is clear, the supporting arguments lack the depth required for a higher band score, as the ideas are presented in a somewhat repetitive manner.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'Moreover', 'Furthermore', and 'In conclusion' are used to guide the reader. However, the flow between sentences is occasionally mechanical, and some transitions feel forced. For example, the sentence 'somehow it is not obstacle in professional growth' lacks a clear logical connection to the preceding clause. Additionally, referencing is sometimes imprecise, which occasionally makes the progression of ideas feel slightly disjointed.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the precision and variety needed for a higher score. There are several instances of awkward word choices or incorrect collocations, such as 'indulged in co-curricular activities' (should be 'engaged in') and 'to taught children' (grammatically incorrect). The range of vocabulary is sufficient to convey the message, but it remains somewhat basic and repetitive. To improve, you should focus on using more sophisticated synonyms and ensuring that words are used in their correct grammatical context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow. Notable errors include subject-verb agreement issues ('children... develops'), incorrect verb forms ('to taught', 'to excelled'), and missing articles ('in a children's school life'). While the meaning is generally clear, these persistent errors in basic grammar and punctuation prevent the writing from reaching a higher band. You should focus on proofreading for subject-verb agreement and ensuring consistent verb tense usage.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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