Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is often argued that most of the students should focus one learning .I largely agree that it is important for the children to play yet I believe that it is also important to concentrate on the learning in the primary school classroom .

One the one hand, admittedly,it is important for the schools to focus on the formal learning of the students because with the help of learning they are able to achieve academic success .To elaborate , they gain more knowledge regarding their past and their country .For instance , all the well -known individual like Mukesh Ambani achieve good success in their life with the help of proper learning .

One the other hand , it is most crucial for the children to play in the school because if they are doing different activities in their school , they are able to improve their health and reduce stress . To be precise , most of the learners suffering from the stress and health issue due to continous studies , As a result ,several kinds of activities is very beneficial to their health .

Moreover, if children are playing in the school , they should also become more confident and interact with different kind of person .For example , ifs students participate in the cricket match , they have desire to get first position in the match .

In conclusion , play is very important for the students in the schools otherwise they feel stress and bore . If they are doing different kinds of plays it enhance their skills and health .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you provide reasons for both sides, the arguments are brief and rely on general statements rather than deep analysis. For example, the mention of Mukesh Ambani is a bit tangential to primary school education. To reach a higher band, ensure that your supporting examples are more directly relevant to the primary school context and provide more detailed explanations of how play specifically facilitates cognitive or social development.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow your argument. You use basic cohesive devices like 'On the one hand', 'Moreover', and 'In conclusion' to signal shifts in topic. However, the flow between sentences is sometimes mechanical, and there are instances where the logical progression is slightly disjointed. For example, the transition between discussing stress and the benefits of playing could be smoother. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence would enhance the overall coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to express your ideas clearly. You use some relevant terms like 'academic success', 'formal learning', and 'beneficial'. However, the range is somewhat limited, and there are occasional errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'most of the students should focus one learning' (likely a typo for 'on') and 'different kind of person' (should be plural). To improve, try to incorporate more precise academic vocabulary and ensure that your word forms are accurate.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'several kinds of activities is very beneficial') and article usage. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with several missing or misplaced spaces after commas and periods. These errors are noticeable but do not significantly impede communication. To achieve a higher score, focus on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy and aim to use a wider variety of complex structures with greater precision.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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