Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Learning in primary schools always been a debutable topic cumony people. Some believed that primary schools focus too much on formal learning auther then extra curriculum activities. I agree with lurye extent to given tend. The narrative ahead shall articulate reasons of my beliet betone arriving a rational conclusion.

For commencing with, schools focus too much on formal learning becouse of commption competition compot competition. In recent years, the competition cumony people have incneused due to technology. So, school starts thut prepurution in ecurly childhood. students will become aware about cell curriculum cend scone well in sturt of schooling. Schools often less & focus on extra curriculum activities such as sports, corts and cautt. They only focus on mujor subjects ces english, muths, science and technology. As a result, students focus do not shored on other coreas. They only leurn importunt subjects. So, they cun be reudy to complete others in a future.

For instance, in muny countries, schools core stricts in terms of studies. They have extra cluss, exound priodically exums and mock tests. This wuy they about students abistity. cebilities. Also they edimount eliminate sports, corts cend music clusses. so students only focus on formul leurning.

On the other hand, colony with formal learning playing sports, arts and music are needed. These are helping students to relax their mind from learning. Also this helps to build other important aspects such as teamwork, communication and leadership which are equally important to a score. Even many students build career in sport or art, and become famous sportperson or artist. As a result, these are also important to built a strong foundation in students life.

To conclude, even though other curriculum activities such as playing sport, art and music are equally important. I, however, believe that schools should focus on formal learning as it makes students ready for competitive world.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. However, the development of ideas is somewhat repetitive and lacks depth. While you clearly state your position, the arguments regarding the competitive nature of modern education are somewhat simplistic. To reach a higher band, you should provide more nuanced examples or explore the long-term consequences of these educational approaches. The conclusion is clear, but the overall argument could be more effectively supported with more sophisticated reasoning rather than just stating that schools should focus on formal learning for a 'competitive world'.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow your argument. You use basic cohesive devices like 'For instance', 'On the other hand', and 'To conclude' to signal transitions. However, the flow is occasionally disrupted by awkward phrasing and repetitive sentence structures. The use of referencing is sometimes unclear, and the mechanical nature of the linking words prevents the essay from achieving a more natural, fluid progression. Improving the variety of your cohesive devices and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear, singular focus would significantly enhance the coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

There is a limited range of vocabulary, and there are frequent spelling errors (e.g., 'debutable', 'cumony', 'auther', 'prepurution', 'edimount'). These errors are distracting and occasionally make it difficult to grasp the intended meaning. While you attempt to use topic-specific vocabulary like 'extra curriculum activities' and 'formal learning', the repetition of these phrases suggests a lack of lexical flexibility. To improve, you need to focus on accurate spelling and expanding your vocabulary to include more precise synonyms and collocations related to education and child development.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay relies heavily on simple sentence structures, and there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text. Issues include incorrect verb forms ('schools core stricts'), missing articles, and subject-verb agreement errors ('school starts thut prepurution'). While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar and punctuation hinders the overall quality of the writing. You should focus on mastering basic sentence construction and proofreading for common errors such as pluralization and verb tense consistency before attempting more complex structures.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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