Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-09
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Primary education play a key role in shaping a childrens future. Academic education is important, but some people say that schools pay more attention on formal education. I strongly agree with this statement because study along with extra curricular activities is very important. In this essay, I will discuss about the importance of games and formal education, and I will also draw a conclusion at the end of the discussion.
On one hand, primary school education builts a sense of understanding in children. Combining education with games develops confidence, skills and keeps the childrens active. It also keeps them engaged with education as well. For example, pupil who take take in classroom games have good communication skills and are much more active than the students who only pay heed to their studies.
On the other hand, people think that primary schools mainly pay attention to formal education. they beleive that the early years of studies are only for making children able to develop skills that are useful in their former studies. The students feel the pressure of their studies and they get stressed. The students have short attention as compared to adults and structured lessons along with keep them bonded to their activities.
In my opinion, fromal education along with other activities develops problem solving skills. Outdoor games and classroom activities improve the health and keeps them more concentrated.
In conclusion, academic activities along with sports and other activities improve the mental capabilities of students and keep them active in their studies.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. While you mention that games develop confidence and communication, these points are not fully extended with concrete examples or deeper analysis. The position is clear, but the argument lacks the depth required for a higher band. To improve, ensure that each body paragraph provides a more detailed explanation of 'why' and 'how' your points support your main argument, rather than simply stating them.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, and there is a basic attempt at using cohesive devices such as 'On one hand' and 'In conclusion'. However, the flow between sentences is sometimes mechanical, and the referencing is occasionally unclear (e.g., 'they beleive' in the third paragraph lacks a clear antecedent). The transition between ideas could be smoother to create a more cohesive argument. Paragraphing is present, but the internal structure of the paragraphs needs more sophisticated linking to guide the reader through your reasoning more effectively.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but remains quite basic and repetitive. You use words like 'education', 'studies', and 'activities' frequently. There are also some minor spelling errors, such as 'builts' instead of 'builds', 'beleive' instead of 'believe', and 'fromal' instead of 'formal'. To reach a higher band, you should aim to use a wider range of vocabulary, including less common lexical items and more precise collocations, while ensuring accuracy in spelling and word choice.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay contains a mix of simple and some complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the reader, such as 'a childrens future' (should be 'a child's future'), 'pay more attention on' (should be 'pay more attention to'), and 'pupil who take take' (repetition and singular/plural agreement error). Subject-verb agreement and article usage are inconsistent throughout the text. While the meaning is generally clear, the frequency of these errors prevents the response from reaching a higher band score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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