Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In the modern world, government should implement the new policy for free education in government school. It is believed that, some people think that primary schools focus too much on formal learning. I partly agree with the given statement.

To embark with, many primary schools provide better education and practical skills to students. As a result, children can learn formal learning and enhance practical skills because children can prepare for higher education and exams. For explain, reading, writing homework, and mathematics are significant role because children can enhance learning ability and general knowledge. For example, students who efforts and hardwork so they can achieve high rank and better job opportunity in the future. Furthermore, these skills helps students for preparing exam and develop new ideas.

On the other hand, some individuals believe that primary school efforts too much on physical classroom. Moreover, students are not focusing on their study instead of playing outdoor games. For explain, children prefer to spend time on online games and creative thinking because they need time for playing and spending creative activities. For example, children who spend lot of time on games and other activities instead of studying subjects, it is losing their academic knowledge and practical skills.

In conclusion, although, students do not focus on academic learning rather than plying games. In my opinion, parents should teach useful lessons and learning subjects. Children should avoid phones and other activity because it aids to become more confident and independent in their lives without family supports.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt, but the development of ideas is inconsistent. The introduction is slightly off-topic, mentioning free education policies which are irrelevant to the prompt. While you provide reasons for both sides, the arguments are often repetitive and lack depth. For example, the explanation of why children should play is somewhat contradictory, as you suggest they should avoid phones but then discuss the importance of creative activities. To improve, ensure your main ideas are clearly linked to the prompt and supported with more logical, specific examples rather than general statements about 'better jobs' or 'academic knowledge'.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. Phrases like 'To embark with' and 'For explain' are used incorrectly, which disrupts the flow of ideas. Additionally, the transition between the two sides of the argument is somewhat abrupt. While there is a clear attempt to use linking words, they are not always used with the precision required for a higher band. Improving the variety and accuracy of your transition signals will significantly enhance the logical progression of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is generally limited and repetitive. You rely on basic terms such as 'better education', 'useful lessons', and 'academic knowledge'. There are also several instances of word-choice errors, such as 'efforts too much' instead of 'focuses too much' and 'plying games' instead of 'playing games'. To reach a higher band, you need to demonstrate a wider range of vocabulary, including less common lexical items and more precise collocations. Focus on learning synonyms for common words and practicing how to use them in context to avoid repetitive phrasing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'these skills helps'), incorrect verb forms (e.g., 'students who efforts'), and awkward phrasing (e.g., 'it is losing their academic knowledge'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma usage. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar prevents the writing from reaching a higher band. Focus on proofreading for subject-verb agreement and ensuring that your sentence structures are grammatically sound.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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