Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In the modern world, governments should implement a new policy for free education in government schools. It is believed that, some people think that primary schools focus too much on formal learning. I partly agree with the given statement.

To embark with, many primary schools provide better educations and practical skills to students. As a result, children can learn formal learning and enhance practical skills because children can prepare for higher education and exams. For explain, reading, writing homework, and mathematics are significant role because children can enhance learning ability and general knowledge. Furthermore, students who put in effort and hard work so they can achieve high rank and better job opportunities in the future. Furthermore, these skills helps students for preparing exam and develop new ideas.

On the other hand, some individuals believe that primary school focuses too much on physical classroom. Moreover, students are not focusing on their study instead of playing outdoor games. However, children prefer to spend time on online games and creative thinking because they need time for playing and spending creative activities. For example, children who spend a lot of time on games and other activities instead of studying subjects, it is losing their academic knowledge and practical skills.

In conclusion, although, students do not focus on academic learning rather than playing games. In my opinion, parents should teach useful lessons and learning subjects. Children should avoid phones and other activity because it aids to become more confident and independent in their lives without family support.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt, but the development is inconsistent. While you state your position, the arguments are often contradictory or unclear. For instance, in the second paragraph, you argue for formal learning, but the third paragraph becomes confused regarding whether you are advocating for or against play. The connection between 'online games' and the prompt's focus on 'classroom play' is not well-integrated. To improve, ensure each paragraph has a clear, singular focus that directly supports your thesis. The conclusion introduces new, slightly confusing ideas about 'family support' that were not previously discussed, which weakens the overall task response.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the logical progression is frequently interrupted by unclear transitions and confusing sentence structures. While you use cohesive devices like 'Furthermore' and 'On the other hand', they are sometimes used incorrectly or do not logically link the preceding idea to the next. For example, the transition in the second paragraph from 'practical skills' to 'high rank and better job' feels disjointed. Additionally, the referencing is occasionally unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow your line of reasoning throughout the argument.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and range required for a higher band. You rely on repetitive phrasing, such as 'formal learning', 'practical skills', and 'academic knowledge'. There are also instances of awkward word choices, such as 'For explain' instead of 'For example' and 'physical classroom' used to describe play. To reach a higher band, focus on using more varied synonyms and collocations, and ensure that your word choices are contextually appropriate for an academic essay.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'these skills helps'), incorrect preposition usage, and awkward phrasing (e.g., 'it is losing their academic knowledge'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma usage. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of errors in basic sentence construction prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focus on proofreading for subject-verb agreement and ensuring your sentence fragments are complete.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.