Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 7.0)

Some people believe that primary schools place too much emphasis on academic education. Although academic education is essential for children's future development, I believe that play is equally important because it helps children develop social, physical and creative skills.

To begin with formal learning plays a crucial role for all the primary children since they have the more grasping power during their childhood. Moreover, academic education will help the child to learn, speak, write and read English and Mathematics which form the foundation for their future studies. In addition, regular classroom lessons can help children develop discipline, concentration and problem-solving abilities. Therefore, a certain amount of academic learning is necessary at this stage of education. Formal learning is essential because it develops children’s basic academic skills, such as reading, writing and mathematics, while preparing them for future education.

On the other hand, playing is equally important for children's overall development. Physical, cultural and creative activities can help them develop emotionally, socially and physically. For example, activities such as running and playing football can improve children's physical health and strength. Similarly, creative activities such as drawing and painting can encourage their imagination and emotional development. Cultural activities can also help children understand and appreciate different traditions and cultures. Therefore, play should be an important part of primary school education alongside formal learning.

In my conclusion, although academic learning is important in primary schools, but I believe that play is equally important because it helps children develop social, physical and creative skills.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. The position is clear from the introduction and maintained throughout. The ideas are relevant and supported with examples, such as 'running and playing football' for physical health and 'drawing and painting' for creativity. However, the development of the argument regarding formal learning is somewhat repetitive; the second paragraph restates the importance of academic skills in the final sentence, which was already covered earlier in the same paragraph. To reach a higher band, the student should focus on extending the analysis of why play is essential for long-term cognitive development rather than just listing activities.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Cohesive devices are used effectively, such as 'To begin with', 'Moreover', 'In addition', and 'On the other hand', which help guide the reader through the argument. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the two main ideas. However, the conclusion contains a minor error in structure: 'although... but' is redundant. While the progression of ideas is clear, the transition between the two body paragraphs could be more sophisticated to better link the balance between play and formal learning.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

The vocabulary is sufficient for the task and allows for some precision. Phrases like 'academic education', 'overall development', and 'emotional development' are used correctly. There is an attempt to use less common vocabulary, though it remains somewhat standard. The student avoids repetitive language for the most part, though some terms like 'important' are used frequently. There are no significant spelling errors, and the word choice is generally appropriate for the academic context. To improve, the student should incorporate more precise collocations and varied synonyms to demonstrate a wider range.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There is good control over basic grammar, and the meaning is always clear. However, there are some minor errors, such as 'the more grasping power' (which is awkward phrasing) and the redundant use of 'although' and 'but' in the final sentence. While the student uses complex sentences, the variety is somewhat limited. The majority of sentences are error-free, but the lack of more sophisticated, varied grammatical structures prevents a higher score. Punctuation is generally accurate throughout the text.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.