Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Citizens across the countries use to argue on to, primary schools mainly focuses on the formal learning only and partially I agree onto this. I think that it is important for children to play as well as learning in the classroom. This discussion will highlight the revelant example and lead to a thoughtful conclusion.

The most concerning and the challenging part, which has now become a trend is to focus on to the official learning only. Many teachers and parents do not understand that it is also important to focus on to the physical growth too. formal teaching will make an individual to think smart, but playing games will make them to act smart. A research reveal that the students who focus onto the physical education had better health than the students who only focuses on the formal education. In conclusion, it is equally important to focus onto the physical education.

On the contrary, there is a strong reason to believe that the formal studies are equally important. The official education will teach an individual that how to act in a perticular situation and what is the importance. A study conducted on the school students states that the student who has focused more on official education were on a good position. Overall, formall education is equally important to focus on formal education.

In conclusion, playing and formal education are two sides of a coin and both are equally important to focus on. Formal education will teach you how to deal with a sitution smartly and physical education will teach you how to act smartly in a sutuation.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. However, the development is limited. The arguments are repetitive, and the 'research' and 'study' mentioned are vague and lack specific detail or logical depth. The position is clear, but the supporting points are underdeveloped, often stating the same idea in different ways rather than exploring the benefits of play or the necessity of formal learning in a nuanced manner. To improve, you should provide concrete examples or logical explanations for why play is essential for cognitive or social development.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or repetitive (e.g., 'In conclusion' is used twice, and 'equally important' is repeated excessively). The transition between ideas is sometimes abrupt, and the logical progression within paragraphs is hindered by the lack of depth in the arguments. Referencing is occasionally unclear, and the flow between sentences feels somewhat disjointed due to the limited range of linking words used.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision required for a higher band. There is significant repetition of basic phrases such as 'formal learning', 'formal education', and 'equally important'. Some word choices are awkward or incorrect, such as 'use to argue on to' and 'revelant example'. There is little attempt to use less common lexical items or idiomatic expressions. To improve, focus on using synonyms and more precise academic collocations to avoid repetitive phrasing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow. Common issues include incorrect preposition usage (e.g., 'focus on to'), subject-verb agreement errors (e.g., 'students who only focuses'), and awkward phrasing (e.g., 'make an individual to think smart'). Punctuation is generally functional, but the frequency of errors in basic grammar prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on sentence construction and proofreading for subject-verb agreement would be beneficial.

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