Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Nowadays, mostly people argue that primary school focus too much on formal learning is becoming increasingly common. Thus essay will discuss to what extent do you agree with this opinion and how important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom. Understanding both parts of this issue is vital for a comprehensive view of the situation.

There are several reasons why this situation occurs, or various factors that answer I agree with this opinion. children should have balance between academic study and play.

Firstly, children need more time for sports and physical activities. Secondly, practical skills and timework are important for their future. For example in many schools, to much importance is given to formal academic subjects. Although these subjects are essential for children's education. this clearly demonstrates how these factors combine to create the current state of affairs.

Moreover, some effective steps can be taken. Firstly, playing also develops social and mental skills. Like Running sports and outdoor games help children stay active and develop physical skills. As a result, playing

also develops social and mental skills. When children play together, they learn teamwork, cooperation, communication and problem solving. For instance, Team games such as football teach children how to cooperate and follow rules.

In conclusion, Formal education is necessary for a strong academic foundation. However, play is equally important for children' s physical, social and emotional development. Therefore, primary schools should maintain a balance between study and play.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt, but the development is uneven. While you clearly state your agreement with the idea that schools focus too much on formal learning, the supporting arguments are somewhat brief and lack depth. For instance, the point about 'practical skills and timework' is mentioned but not fully explained or linked back to the classroom environment. To improve, ensure that each body paragraph provides a detailed explanation and a concrete example that directly supports your main argument. The conclusion effectively summarizes your position, but the overall essay would benefit from more extensive elaboration on the importance of play to reach a higher band.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and you use basic cohesive devices like 'Firstly', 'Secondly', and 'Moreover' to guide the reader. However, the flow is occasionally interrupted by awkward phrasing and repetitive sentence structures. For example, the phrase 'playing also develops social and mental skills' is repeated almost verbatim in the third paragraph. Additionally, some transitions between sentences are mechanical. To improve, try to vary your linking words and ensure that each sentence flows naturally into the next by using referencing (e.g., 'this approach', 'such activities') rather than repeating the same nouns or phrases.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'comprehensive view', 'academic foundation', and 'physical, social and emotional development'. However, there are instances of word-choice errors and awkward collocations, such as 'mostly people argue' instead of 'most people argue' and 'timework' instead of 'teamwork'. The vocabulary is generally functional but lacks the precision and variety required for higher bands. To improve, focus on learning common collocations and using more sophisticated synonyms for basic words like 'important' or 'good'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally hinder the flow. Issues include subject-verb agreement ('primary school focus' instead of 'primary schools focus'), punctuation errors (e.g., 'For example in many schools, to much importance...'), and sentence fragments or run-on sentences. For instance, 'Thus essay will discuss...' should be 'This essay...'. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to affect the overall clarity. Focusing on proofreading for basic subject-verb agreement and article usage would significantly improve your score.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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