Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-10
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
Accordingly, it is generally argued that primary schools too much concentrate on formal learning, but I think it is important for children to play as well as learn in the school classrooms. I tend to agree with this very notion.
In the first place, formal learning is very important in these days becuase if students have any diploma so they will worked any field. For example, if a one student have pharmacy diploma he will worked on any pharmacy. Thus, this is pertinent to mention that other students can also work like this.
In addition to the previous point, if children played in the classroom then for that reason atmoshere of the class will be ruined. For instance, if childern will be palyed in the classroom teacher will be disturbe, moreover, student also cannot focus own studies. Hence, there is no denying the fact that classrooms are not for palying it is completely for study, that is way will not impact on their studies.
On the other hand, focus on formal learning the progress of academic disipline and the learning of mathematics will be better in the students, if the students work on maths for that reason that brain will be sharp. Therefore, we may consider this point valid to say that this is very beneficial for students of primary school focus too much on formal learning.
In a nutshell, after considering all the above mentioned arguments we can reach a logical conclusion that some people thinks very good because if schools focus on formal learning so, the sudents will be diciplined.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response addresses both parts of the prompt, but the development of ideas is inconsistent and sometimes contradictory. You argue that formal learning is important, yet you struggle to clearly articulate the balance between play and study. The arguments regarding 'pharmacy diplomas' for primary school children are logically weak and irrelevant to the context of primary education. Furthermore, your position is confusing; you state you agree that schools focus too much on formal learning, but then you argue strongly against play in the classroom. This lack of a clear, consistent position throughout the essay prevents a higher score. To improve, ensure your arguments directly support your thesis and provide more relevant, realistic examples.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which is a positive step. However, the logical progression of ideas is frequently disrupted by awkward transitions and unclear referencing. While you use cohesive devices like 'In the first place', 'In addition', and 'In a nutshell', they are often used mechanically or to connect ideas that do not logically follow one another. For example, the transition between the importance of formal learning and the argument against playing is abrupt. The referencing is also occasionally unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow your line of reasoning. Improving the flow between sentences and ensuring each paragraph has a single, clear focus will enhance your coherence.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
Your vocabulary is limited and often repetitive, which restricts your ability to express complex ideas. There are several instances of incorrect word choice and spelling errors, such as 'becuase', 'atmoshere', 'childern', 'palyed', 'disturbe', and 'diciplined'. These errors are frequent and occasionally impede the reader's understanding. You rely on basic vocabulary and struggle to use less common items accurately. To reach a higher band, you should focus on expanding your range of academic vocabulary and paying closer attention to spelling and word formation. Using more precise terminology related to education would also significantly improve the quality of your writing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains a high frequency of grammatical errors, particularly regarding verb tense, subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure. Examples include 'if students have any diploma so they will worked any field' and 'if childern will be palyed'. These errors are persistent and often make the meaning unclear. While you attempt some complex sentence structures, they are frequently faulty, leading to a lack of control over grammar. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, specifically ensuring correct tense usage and subject-verb agreement. Reducing the complexity of your sentences until you have a firmer grasp of basic grammar will help you produce more accurate, error-free writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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