Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-10
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Accordingly, it is generally argued that primary schools focus too much on formal learning, but I think it is important for children to play as well as learn in the school classrooms. I tend to agree with this very notion.
In the first place, formal learning is very important these days because if students have any diploma, they can work in any field. For example, if a student has a pharmacy diploma, he can work in any pharmacy. Thus, it is pertinent to mention that other students can also work like this.
In addition to the previous point, if children play in the classroom, then for that reason the atmosphere of the class will be ruined. For instance, if children play in the classroom, the teacher will be disturbed; moreover, students also cannot focus on their own studies. Hence, there is no denying the fact that classrooms are not for playing; they are completely for study, and that is why it will not impact their studies.
On the other hand, focusing on formal learning, the progress of academic discipline and the learning of mathematics will be better in the students. If the students work on math, for that reason their brains will be sharp. Therefore, we may consider this point valid to say that it is very beneficial for students of primary school to focus too much on formal learning.
In a nutshell, after considering all the above-mentioned arguments, we can reach a logical conclusion that some people think it is very good because if schools focus on formal learning, then the students will be disciplined.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response addresses both parts of the prompt, but the development of ideas is inconsistent and somewhat contradictory. While you state in the introduction that you agree with the need for play, your body paragraphs argue strongly against it, claiming that play ruins the classroom atmosphere. This creates a lack of a clear, consistent position. The arguments provided, such as the mention of a 'pharmacy diploma' for primary school children, are not relevant to the context of primary education. To improve, ensure your arguments directly address the developmental benefits of play versus the structure of formal learning, and maintain a logical, unified stance throughout the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical and sometimes illogical. For example, the transition 'In addition to the previous point' introduces an argument that contradicts your initial thesis. Furthermore, the referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the phrase 'other students can also work like this.' To reach a higher band, focus on using linking words that accurately reflect the relationship between your ideas (e.g., using 'however' or 'conversely' when presenting contrasting viewpoints) and ensure that your paragraphing supports a clear, logical progression of thought.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. You rely on simple, repetitive phrasing such as 'very important,' 'very good,' and 'very beneficial.' There are also some awkward collocations, such as 'progress of academic discipline' and 'work like this,' which sound unnatural. To improve, try to incorporate more precise academic vocabulary related to education, such as 'pedagogical approaches,' 'holistic development,' or 'cognitive stimulation.' Expanding your range of synonyms and focusing on natural word pairings will significantly enhance your lexical score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but the control over these structures is inconsistent. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'if students have any diploma' (which is imprecise) and 'classrooms are not for playing; they are completely for study' (which is slightly awkward). While these errors do not usually impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. To improve, practice using a wider variety of complex sentence forms, such as conditional clauses and relative clauses, and pay closer attention to subject-verb agreement and the appropriate use of articles.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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