Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In recent decades, education system in primary schools has becomes more formal and theoretical and they are focusing more on studies than any other physical activity in the classrooms. I believe that this practice is causing high stress in the young students because of the excessive burden of studies.

Initially, some people argue that many primary schools removed all the extra-curriculum activities from the classroom and they are just giving long lectures to the young children which is not good for their mental health. I also believe that extra-curriculum activities create more interest in students and improve their stress level. For example, in developed countries, the teachers usually use toys and visual gadgets to explain any poem or lesson instead of reading from book so the students of those countries usually do more inventions in the future because of less stressed and more practical core education.

Secondly, primary schools are usually doing more formal education because some parents ask them to do so because they want that their child should secure more marks in the final result than any other student, that's why they are pushing them hard to focus more on theoretical lectures. I disagree with this type of pressure on education system by the local community. For instance, in underdeveloped countries, education is more focused on memorizing the stories and historic event to get more marks in semester and final result because in those countries, job require usually A+ grade students without looking any of their practical work.

In conclusion, I believe that primary schools should arrange some physical activities in classrooms and they also introduce some gadgets for visual effects to increase students interest.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. The position is clear throughout. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention that formal learning causes stress and that play fosters interest, the arguments could be more thoroughly extended with more specific examples or deeper analysis. For instance, the comparison between developed and underdeveloped countries is a good attempt at support, but it remains a broad generalization. To reach a higher band, ensure that each point is fully explored with more nuanced reasoning rather than just stating the observation.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear central topic. There is a progression of ideas from the introduction to the conclusion. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and repetitive. Phrases like 'Initially', 'Secondly', and 'In conclusion' are used to signpost, but the internal flow between sentences could be improved by using a wider variety of linking words and better referencing. For example, the transition between the discussion of parental pressure and the example of underdeveloped countries could be smoother to better connect the cause and effect.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task, allowing the message to be conveyed clearly. You use some topic-specific terms like 'theoretical lectures', 'formal education', and 'extra-curriculum activities'. However, there are some inaccuracies in collocation and word choice, such as 'do more inventions' (should be 'make more inventions' or 'be more innovative') and 'job require usually A+ grade' (should be 'jobs usually require'). The range is sufficient for the task but lacks the sophistication and precision required for higher bands. Expanding your repertoire of academic collocations would be beneficial.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with articles ('the education system', 'the young students'), subject-verb agreement ('education system... has becomes'), and preposition usage. Some sentences are slightly awkward, such as 'without looking any of their practical work'. While these errors do not impede communication, they are persistent enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy and refining complex sentence construction will help improve your score in this criterion.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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