Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-10
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Education is considered fundamental right of human beings. Some individual believe that the predominant goal of primary schools should be to provide formal learning. However, I disagree with this notion. This essay will give reasons to strengthen my opinion.
To begin with, undeniably, the formal learning plays vital role in the overall development of a child and too much focused formal learning could be stressful and exhausting for children. While, if schools have other activities such as sports and extra curricular activities, then it could be helpful to for students to get relaxed and also it makes study for students more exciting. Moreover, by playing certain sports, they can learn many more things. For instance, the games such as chess, can help them to train their mind to make strategies.
In the same way, sports can also help them to develop certain traits and behaviour like where they need to be competitive and where competitive. Furthermore, the outdoor games or activities not just keeps students physically active but also help them to maintain their physical fitness as well. Which results in a healthy life. In addition, the extracurricular activities such as volunteering can improve their communication skills which could be helpful for their professional career.
In conclusion, too much formal education might be helpful to make students expert which could be beneficial for their professional life. But as it raises concerns for the health of students, I believe that other activities also need to be a part of schooling for the overall development of children.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. The position is clear throughout, and the ideas are relevant. However, the development is somewhat superficial. For example, the argument about sports helping with strategy is a good start but lacks depth or a specific example of how this translates to a primary school setting. The conclusion is a bit repetitive and could have better synthesised the main points. To reach a higher band, ensure that each supporting point is fully extended with more detailed explanation or illustrative examples.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, each with a clear central topic. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'To begin with', 'Moreover', and 'In addition', which help the flow of ideas. However, some transitions are slightly mechanical or awkward, such as 'In the same way' to introduce a new point about sports, which does not quite fit the preceding paragraph's focus. Referencing is generally clear, but there are instances where the connection between sentences could be smoother. Overall, the progression of ideas is logical, but the use of cohesive devices could be more sophisticated and varied.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing the writer to express their opinions clearly. There are some attempts at less common vocabulary, such as 'predominant', 'undeniably', and 'extracurricular', which is positive. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'make students expert' (should be 'experts') and 'where they need to be competitive and where competitive' (which is repetitive and unclear). The range is sufficient to convey meaning, but more precise and varied vocabulary would be needed for a higher score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, such as missing articles ('considered fundamental right'), subject-verb agreement issues ('formal learning plays vital role'), and awkward phrasing ('helpful to for students'). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are some sentence fragments, such as 'Which results in a healthy life.' These errors do not impede communication, but they demonstrate a lack of control over more complex structures, keeping the score in the 6.0 range.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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