Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-10
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Most of the people think playing is also crucial for the children along with the studies in the primary schools. I largerly agree with this notion because playing can make children active and more focused for studies rather than being a bookwarm.
To commence with, everyone knows that study is really important but sports is also the part of it because we have to learn it. Moreover, today's generation mostly occupied with video games and surfing internet, they almost forget the outdoor games like badminton, cricket and volley ball. Plus, teachers of their schools gave a lot of homework, most the kids time gone in homework whereas minors get exhausted when they only do study rather than some physical activity. Consequently, parents and teachers also gave them chance to play.
Along with it, there is a time limit for studies as well as play time for children so they can do both. However, schools should arrange sports day for the children as they create quiz day and teach them new games and exercises. Likewise, some students find their careers in the sports instead of education which is also a good thing. Nevertheless, other subjects like science ,english and maths are significant as well as sports also. To cite an example, In the USA, scholars has games session once a week and they also give awards to the winners of the games.
To conclude, Learning is important but playing is also crucial for the growth of children, physically as well as mentally. Scholars can do both the things together.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement and the importance of play. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. For example, the argument that children are 'occupied with video games' is a relevant point, but it is not fully extended to explain how formal school structures specifically fail to address this. The position is clear, but the supporting points lack depth and specific evidence. The mention of the USA is a good attempt at providing an example, but it remains vague. To reach a higher band, you should provide more detailed explanations of how play specifically benefits cognitive or social development in a primary school context.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear attempt to use cohesive devices such as 'To commence with', 'Moreover', and 'Consequently'. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly unnatural, such as 'Along with it' to start a paragraph. The progression of ideas is generally clear, but the transition between the importance of play and the mention of career paths in sports feels a bit abrupt. Paragraphing is used appropriately, but the internal cohesion within paragraphs could be improved by using a wider variety of linking words to connect sentences more fluidly.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. There are some inaccuracies in word choice, such as 'minors' (which usually refers to legal status rather than age in this context) and 'scholars' (which is typically used for university-level researchers rather than primary school students). The phrase 'bookwarm' is a misspelling of 'bookworm'. While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning, you rely on relatively simple terms and would benefit from incorporating more academic collocations and topic-specific terminology related to education and child development.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are frequent grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('teachers... gave', 'scholars has') and article usage errors ('the studies', 'the outdoor games'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with spacing around commas and capitalization of subjects like 'english'. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they occur frequently enough to impact the overall flow and clarity of the writing. To improve, focus on proofreading for basic subject-verb agreement and ensuring consistent use of articles and proper nouns.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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