Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

I agree that primary schools focus too much on formal learning. Although learning is very crucial for students but schools are also need to give time and place to students for play because it also important for students. On the one hand, I believe the primary schools focus too much on formal learning. I agree with this opinion because in class formal learning like mathematics, English and others subject can improve the students learning skills. Further more, this also give some benefit to students like skills, sharp mind, learning ability, etc. For Example when i was study in 6 class. I changed my school. New school was completely focus on formal learning due to this it improve my learning skills and i get A+ score in matric result. On the other hand, i think children also need to play as well as learn in the primary school because that fresh the mind of students and students are feeling active all the days. This are also improve the communication skills of students and give confidence to each students. For Example after 6 class when i was going in new school it complete focus on formal learning the benefit is that i gain good marks in my matric exam butt there is also drawback for this now i have very low confidence and bad communication skills. I think when students are participate in school activities than it improve the students confidence. In Conclusion, now primary schools completely focus on formal learning butt it also need for children to play as well as learn in primary school.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. However, the development is inconsistent. While you provide personal examples, they are somewhat repetitive and lack depth. The argument is clear, but the explanation of why play is important remains superficial. To improve, you should expand on the pedagogical benefits of play, such as cognitive development or social-emotional learning, rather than focusing solely on personal anecdotes about grades and confidence. The position is maintained throughout, but the overall analysis is basic.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the flow is often mechanical. You use basic cohesive devices like 'On the one hand' and 'In conclusion', but the transitions between sentences within paragraphs are often abrupt. For example, the shift from discussing formal learning to personal experience lacks a smooth logical bridge. Additionally, the referencing is sometimes unclear, such as the vague use of 'this' to refer to entire preceding clauses. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear, singular focus would significantly enhance the logical progression of your ideas.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is limited and repetitive. You frequently use basic terms like 'good', 'bad', and 'important'. There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'that fresh the mind' (should be 'refreshes') and 'when i was study in 6 class' (should be 'when I was in the sixth grade'). While the meaning is generally conveyed, the lack of variety and the frequent errors in word form prevent the response from reaching a higher band. You should aim to incorporate more precise academic vocabulary related to education and child development.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay relies heavily on simple sentence structures. There are frequent grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement ('schools are also need'), tense inconsistencies ('when i was study'), and missing articles. Punctuation is also problematic, with run-on sentences and incorrect capitalization of 'i'. While you attempt some complex structures, they are often faulty, which can occasionally cause the reader to pause. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, specifically subject-verb agreement and consistent verb tenses, before attempting more complex grammatical forms.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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