Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Education is really important for every student to make a bright future. Education starts from school which makes the strong base of students. Some people argue that primary schools focus more on formal learning rather than other activities and some believe that it is essential for student to learn and play both at same rate. In this essay, we will discuss about this opinion with arguments in detail and i will give my own opinion in the end.

To begin, parents send their children to schools for education. Schools are the first place of learning where every child makes their base. In primary schools, there are many rules, instructions and structures are design for the students. All teachers teach the students according to these strict instructions. There are many primary schools which focus mainly on this formal learning rather than activities and games. This system makes the students are getting bored. For example, In Pakistan, there are various schools which focus only on learning. In these schools, Instructors does not pay attention on other activities like painting, debate programs and students become dull. Games and many activities are too much important for students as well as education. Because, games make the students active, fresh and relax. For example, the primary schools in many foreign countries like US, Japan, China etc. has a different education system far away from boring and cramming system. In these schools, students are very sharp and intelligent because they learn many technology and computer skills.

In conclusion, i think it should be essential for students to play as well as learn in the primary schools. I also agree with this statement about playing many activities in schools like learning.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. However, the development is somewhat superficial. While you mention the importance of games for being 'active, fresh and relax', the arguments lack depth and specific analysis. The position is clear, but the supporting examples, such as the mention of Pakistan or foreign countries, are brief and lack sufficient detail to fully explore the implications of the argument. To improve, you should aim to expand on your reasoning by explaining the long-term benefits of play on cognitive development or social skills, rather than just stating that it makes students 'sharp'.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the flow between ideas is often mechanical. You use basic cohesive devices like 'To begin' and 'In conclusion', but the internal progression within paragraphs is sometimes disjointed. For instance, the transition from the description of strict instructions to the example of Pakistan is abrupt. Referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the sentence 'This system makes the students are getting bored', where the connection to the previous point is grammatically awkward. Using a wider variety of linking words and ensuring that each sentence logically follows the previous one would significantly improve the coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the precision and range required for higher bands. You rely on simple, repetitive terms like 'important', 'learning', and 'activities'. There are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'makes the strong base' (should be 'builds a strong foundation') and 'far away from boring and cramming system' (should be 'distinct from a rote-learning system'). To reach a higher band, you should incorporate more academic collocations and precise terminology related to education, such as 'pedagogical approach', 'holistic development', or 'extracurricular engagement'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'instructions and structures are design' (should be 'designed'), 'Instructors does not pay attention' (subject-verb agreement error), and 'games make the students active, fresh and relax' (should be 'relaxed'). The use of articles and prepositions is also inconsistent. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of passive voice would be beneficial.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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