Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Young students, especially the primary school children, focus more on formal learning, as young youths are not familar of skill learning. Some people debate on a topic that primary schools students focus more on formal learning. This essay argue that primary schools ignores life skill lesson and focus more on formal learning. Because due to lack of vocabulary, young students cannot cope with learning skills directly and young students should need there base skill for easy learning in future.

As young people lack most vocabulary, students cannot learn the life skill directly. if the young students are taught about how to be electrician, they cannot learn due to a lack of certain vocabulary. For example, In Wangdue Primary school student are taught about the uses of artificial intelligence or AI, while most of them have failed to make a proper use due to lack of vocabulary like writing inaccurate prompts. So, primary schools focus more on formal learning.

Furthermore, the primary school children need base skill for better learning in future. If the students want be doctor or nurse in future students need to learn base knowledge or skills like nervous system and respiratory system. For example: Only science students are able to apply nursing degree or MBBS because they learned some basic knowledge in science that arts and commerce students lack. For that primary schools should focus on formal learning.

Overall, primary school focus too much on formal learning and ignoring other attributes because young student lack certain skills to learn the other attributes and young students need better base skill or knowledge in future to achieve their ambitions.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt, but the development of ideas is inconsistent. While you clearly state a position that primary schools focus too much on formal learning, the supporting arguments are somewhat repetitive and lack depth. For instance, the argument regarding 'vocabulary' is used as a catch-all explanation for why children cannot learn life skills, which is not entirely logical or well-supported. The second body paragraph shifts to the importance of 'base skills' for future careers, which is relevant but could be better linked to the concept of play. To reach a higher band, ensure each paragraph explores a distinct, well-reasoned point with more nuanced examples.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or repetitive. Phrases like 'For example' and 'Furthermore' are used, but the internal flow between sentences is sometimes disjointed. For example, the transition between the introduction and the first body paragraph is abrupt. Additionally, referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the final paragraph where 'other attributes' is vague. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each sentence logically follows the previous one would significantly enhance the coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and range required for higher bands. There is frequent repetition of words like 'vocabulary', 'formal learning', and 'skills'. Some word choices are unnatural or inaccurate, such as 'young youths' (redundant) and 'not familar of' (incorrect preposition). You attempt to use academic terms like 'artificial intelligence', but the context provided is limited. To improve, focus on learning collocations and synonyms to avoid repeating the same terms throughout the essay. Expanding your range to include more topic-specific vocabulary related to education and child development would be beneficial.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'primary schools ignores'), article usage (e.g., 'about how to be electrician'), and awkward phrasing (e.g., 'students should need there base skill'). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are errors in sentence boundaries and capitalization. While the meaning is usually clear, the frequency of these errors prevents the writing from reaching a higher band. Focus on proofreading for basic subject-verb agreement and ensuring correct article usage to improve your accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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