Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is an undeniable fact that physical health plays an important role in students life in this digital age. Many primary schools focus too much on formal learning and do not teach the importance of play. I totally agree that it is important for children to play as well as learn in their small age.

It is an irrefutable fact that formal education is foundation of their higher studies. Subjects like English, Science and Mathematic builds strong base for the primary students which helps them to concentrate on difficult things in future. Moreover, there are some fun ways which is used by some schools to teach elementary students to learn things in effective way. In addition, children develop general knowledge about their country and surrounding nations from formal learning. But just focusing on the book learning is not enough for children growth. It limits their hobbies and creative activities. However, excessive classroom learning can make children bore and can not concentrate in studies also.

Many elementary school give more theoretical knowledge as they believe that during certain age children should be keen to learn new theories and mathematic formulas to build up grasping power. Education system ignore the fact that physical education is important for both mental and physical health. Outdoor games helps children to coordinate and interact with other students and to build strong teamwork. It helps students to develop discipline and concentration. Children can pursue their career in sports if they get training at young age. If the child is good in sport they can represent their country at global level in future.

To conclude, I believe that the education system should implement proper combination of outdoor activities with effective formal learning for students.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. The position is clear throughout. However, the development of ideas is somewhat uneven. While the benefits of play are discussed with relevant points about teamwork and physical health, the discussion on formal learning is a bit generic. To reach a higher band, you should provide more specific examples or deeper analysis of how a balance between the two can be practically achieved in a classroom setting, rather than just stating that a combination is necessary in the conclusion.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized into paragraphs, each with a clear central topic. There is a progression of ideas from the introduction to the conclusion. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'Moreover', 'In addition', and 'To conclude', though some transitions feel a bit mechanical. Referencing is generally clear, but there are instances where the flow between sentences could be smoother. For example, the transition between the benefits of formal learning and the drawbacks of excessive classroom time could be more effectively linked to improve the overall cohesion of the second paragraph.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'irrefutable', 'theoretical knowledge', and 'coordinate'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'in their small age' (should be 'at a young age') and 'make children bore' (should be 'make children bored'). While these errors do not impede communication, they limit the score. To improve, focus on using more precise collocations and avoiding repetitive phrasing like 'learn things' or 'good in sport'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('Subjects... builds', 'Outdoor games helps', 'Many elementary school give') and missing articles ('at global level'). While these errors are frequent, they rarely impede the reader's understanding. To achieve a higher band, you need to increase the frequency of error-free sentences and pay closer attention to pluralization and article usage, which are currently inconsistent throughout the text.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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