Band 8.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 8.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 8.0)

It is often argued that primary schools place excessive emphasis on formal academic learning. I largely agree with this view, as young children need opportunities to develop through play as well as traditional classroom activities. In my opinion, play should be an essential part of primary education rather than being regarded simply as a leisure activity.

One reason why formal learning can be excessive at primary level is that young children may experience unnecessary academic pressure. Spending long hours completing worksheets, memorising information and preparing for examinations can reduce their interest in learning and limit their creativity. At this age, children are still developing their ability to concentrate for extended periods, so lessons that are entirely teacher-centred may not be particularly effective. For example, a child who spends most of the school day sitting at a desk may become bored and less motivated to participate in lessons.

Play, therefore, has a crucial role in children's overall development. Through games and other play-based activities, children can develop communication, cooperation and problem-solving skills. Physical play also improves fitness and helps children develop coordination, while imaginative activities can encourage creativity. For instance, group games require children to share, negotiate and follow rules, which teaches them important social skills that cannot always be developed through textbooks.

However, this does not mean that formal learning should be removed from primary education. Children need to acquire fundamental skills such as reading, writing and mathematics, which provide the foundation for their future studies. The most effective approach is therefore to combine academic instruction with age-appropriate play and practical activities.

In conclusion, I agree that some primary schools focus too heavily on formal learning. Although academic education is essential, play is equally important because it promotes children's intellectual, physical and social development. A balanced combination of learning and play is the most appropriate approach to primary education.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 8.0

The response fully addresses both parts of the prompt. You clearly state your position in the introduction and maintain it throughout the essay. The arguments regarding the negative impact of excessive formal learning and the benefits of play are well-developed and supported with relevant examples, such as the mention of social skills like negotiation and sharing. The essay is balanced, acknowledging the necessity of fundamental academic skills while advocating for a more holistic approach. The ideas are relevant and logically extended, meeting all the requirements of the task effectively.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 8.0

The essay is logically organized with a clear progression of ideas. Each paragraph has a central theme, and the transition between the critique of formal learning and the benefits of play is smooth. You use a range of cohesive devices effectively, such as 'One reason why', 'Therefore', 'For instance', and 'However', which help guide the reader through your argument. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate distinct points. The flow is natural, and the relationship between sentences is clear, demonstrating a high level of control over the structure of the essay.

Lexical Resource — Band 7.5

You demonstrate a good range of vocabulary that is appropriate for an academic context. Phrases such as 'excessive emphasis', 'academic pressure', 'holistic approach', and 'age-appropriate' show a level of sophistication. The word choice is generally precise, and collocations are natural. While the vocabulary is effective and conveys your meaning clearly, it stays within a standard academic register. To reach a higher band, you could incorporate slightly more idiomatic or less common lexical items, but the current range is sufficient to express your ideas with precision and flexibility.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 8.0

The essay displays a wide range of grammatical structures, including complex sentences with subordinate clauses (e.g., 'Although academic education is essential, play is equally important because...'). The majority of your sentences are error-free, and your control over punctuation and tense usage is excellent. There are no significant grammatical errors that impede communication. The writing is fluent and demonstrates a high level of accuracy, consistent with the requirements for a high band score. The variety of structures used contributes to the overall readability and professional tone of the response.

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