Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

School plays a crucial role to in building children mind and physical strength. However, It is argued by a mass of people that primary school focus too much on formal learning. I partially agree with this notion.

The prominent reason to support the formal learning, developing skills. Primary school children are at age where adolescents not only start learning new skills but also have a more curiosity to learn new things. Hence, they easily show interest in subjects such as english, mathematics etc. Consequently, their grasping power gets more enhanced and their reading and writing skills easily improved.

Despite having positives it has some drawbacks as well which cannot be overlooked. The first and foremost is, lack of physical strength. If school only focus on academics, it would be difficult for children to involved in physical activities. Due to lack of physical activities their bone strength cannot be improved. School should provide some play time for children to do leisure activities. Which helps juvenile to reduce burden from academics and they will perform better in their studies. As a result, their overall strength will be improved.

To recapitulate, although academic subjects are more crucial to learn new skill such as reading and writing, merits of doing outdoor activities in leisure time are more important. I believe schools should focus on some physical activities along with studies, it will help students to be more focused and they will perform better even in academics as well.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. However, the essay is under the minimum word count (244 words), which negatively impacts the development of ideas. While the position is clear, the arguments are somewhat superficial. For instance, the claim that 'bone strength cannot be improved' without play is a weak, over-generalized argument. To reach a higher band, you need to expand on your points with more specific examples or deeper analysis to ensure the response is fully developed and meets the length requirement.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas from the introduction to the conclusion. You use some cohesive devices such as 'However', 'Consequently', and 'To recapitulate'. However, some transitions are mechanical or slightly awkward, such as 'The prominent reason to support the formal learning, developing skills.' Additionally, some sentences are fragmented or lack smooth flow. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence would enhance the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. You use some basic terms like 'good' or 'better' and repeat words like 'physical activities' and 'academics'. There are also some collocation errors, such as 'building children mind' (should be 'minds') and 'have a more curiosity' (should be 'have more curiosity'). To improve, focus on using more sophisticated synonyms and collocations, and ensure you are using words in their correct grammatical form.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'School plays a crucial role to in building' (double preposition), 'It is argued by a mass of people' (unnatural phrasing), and 'If school only focus' (subject-verb agreement error). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma usage. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focus on subject-verb agreement and article usage.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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