Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-11
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
It is often argue, among the people that primary schools whether they focus on formal learning or not focus on formal learning. I think that primary schools focusing on formal learning is a great way of teaching except the consequences . We will discuss both the points in this essay.
I believe focusing on formal learning is great way of teaching the students except the consequences. For Instance, making them focusing on formal learning result into disciplined student , who focus a lot in their work without any disturbance . In addition, they have the ability of working without any distraction. Which helps them to be at one-step forward than rest of the people. Furthermore, formal learning also provide the cognitive benefits. Prime example, they can make the decision as fast they can compare to normal students. The drawback of formal learning are it makes them people depending on them very highly and high pressure in every work. Especially, the childhood feeling which they never got from being independent.
On the other hand, others argue it is better to let the children experience on their own and help them to be independent from formal learning. At some point , i would also agree with them because it's really sad to see the students sacrificing their childhood for their future and too much burden and expectations of others on them feels more pressure. It is better to reduce the complexity of formal learning and let them enjoy their childhood.
In conclusion, I believe formal learning is a great thing to make them disciplined but we need to understand the consequences which bring by formal learning. So, its better to let the children enjoy their childhood and as well as focusing on formal learning.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. While you mention benefits like discipline and cognitive development, the explanation remains repetitive and lacks specific, well-supported examples. The position is generally clear, but the argument lacks depth, particularly in the second paragraph where the drawbacks are mentioned but not fully explored. To improve, ensure that each main point is supported by a concrete example or a more detailed explanation of the 'why' and 'how' behind your claims.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which is a positive step. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. For instance, phrases like 'Prime example' and 'Which helps them' are used incorrectly or as sentence fragments. The logical progression between ideas is sometimes hindered by these awkward transitions. While there is an attempt to use linking words like 'In addition' and 'Furthermore', the overall flow is occasionally disjointed. Improving the variety and accuracy of your cohesive devices will help your ideas connect more naturally and improve the overall readability of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and variety required for a higher band. There is significant repetition of phrases like 'formal learning' and 'great way of teaching'. Some word choices are unnatural, such as 'consequences' used in a context where 'drawbacks' or 'limitations' would be more appropriate. Additionally, there are minor errors in collocation, such as 'result into' instead of 'result in'. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider range of vocabulary and ensuring that words are used in their correct collocations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('It is often argue'), article usage ('the rest of the people'), and sentence fragments ('Which helps them...'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with unnecessary spaces before commas. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for subject-verb agreement will significantly improve your accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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