Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

There is some argument on the extent of formal learning of the primary school going students. I believe that primary school children should spend more time playing rather than spending most of their time on formal learning.

Studies have shown that primary school kids have not developed the thinking capacity to understand complex subjects, hence, it is adviced that schools not start with formal learning. Hence, to develop their brain, children should spend most of their time playing. Involving in group physical activity develops the necessary social and motor skills. Primary schools are also a great place to help kids get an understanding of friendship, where they interact with children of same age. They learn to communicate with eachother and understand the importance of cooperation. For example, my cousin brother made many friends when he started primary school because he was able to interact with children of his age. This helped him become more confident while communicating with others.

Playing also helps children develop their language skills. It also develops a larger language set of the children as different kids bring in new words. Children can learn many things naturally while playing with each other, rather than only through books and formal classes. Therefore, play can be an important part of their early development.

On the other hand, primary schools are a great place to provide children with basic knowledge and foundational skills. However, too much formal learning can create pressure on young children. Unfortunately, he is also burdened with classwork and homework, which I believe is unnecessarry for kids that age. Children should have enough free time to play and develop their physical and social abilities instead of being burdened with excessive academic work.

In conclusion, I believe that primary school children should receive some formal education, but they should spend most of their time playing. Play helps them develop social, physical and language skills, while excessive classwork and homework can put unnecessary pressure on children at such a young age.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

You have addressed both parts of the prompt: your position on the extent of formal learning is clear, and you have provided reasons for the importance of play. The ideas are relevant and generally well-supported, particularly regarding social and motor skill development. However, the development of your arguments could be more nuanced. For instance, the claim that children lack the 'thinking capacity' for complex subjects is a broad generalization that could be better qualified. To reach a higher band, ensure that your supporting examples are more specific and analytical rather than relying on personal anecdotes like 'my cousin brother', which can sometimes limit the academic tone of the essay.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. You use cohesive devices such as 'Therefore', 'On the other hand', and 'However' to guide the reader through your arguments. Paragraphing is used effectively to separate distinct ideas. To improve, work on the variety of your linking words, as some transitions feel slightly mechanical. Additionally, ensure that referencing is always clear; for example, in the fourth paragraph, you use 'he' to refer to a child in a general sense, which creates a slight confusion as the subject was previously plural ('children').

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'foundational skills', 'excessive academic work', and 'motor skills' appropriately. There are some minor inaccuracies, such as 'adviced' (should be 'advised') and 'larger language set', which is not a standard collocation. While your vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning clearly, you could elevate your score by incorporating more precise, academic collocations and avoiding repetitive phrasing. Expanding your range to include more sophisticated synonyms for common words would help demonstrate a higher level of lexical control.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, and your meaning is consistently clear. There are some grammatical slips, such as 'primary school going students' (which should be hyphenated or rephrased) and 'Involving in group physical activity' (should be 'Involvement in...'). You also have occasional issues with subject-verb agreement and word forms, such as 'unnecessarry' (spelling) and 'eachother' (should be two words). While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher band score. Focus on proofreading for small mechanical errors and refining your use of complex sentence structures.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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