Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-12
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The debate about primary schools focusing more on formal learning can never be over emphasized, firstly, one needs to understand what formal learning is all about, this is a study attributed to official teachings, in as much as this is part of the foundation given to students in that level, it shouldn't be the major focus, the learning tactics of children in primary schools need to be balanced, incorporating both formal and informal skills into the learning strategy.
On the one hand, the society is already too formal and becoming more abstract, when you leave school, you're faced with choice of career which presents you to be official in your dealings with people, in the midst of colleagues and co-workers, you're expected to be formal, the only time you're expected to be informal is only when you get home to your family and friends
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response is significantly under-length at 144 words, failing to meet the 250-word minimum requirement. Consequently, the task is only partially addressed. While you introduce the topic and express a preference for a balanced approach, the second part of the prompt—the importance of play—is not adequately explored. The ideas are underdeveloped, and the essay ends abruptly before addressing the core of the second question. To improve, you must expand your arguments with specific examples and ensure all parts of the prompt are given equal weight and depth.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay lacks a clear structure. While there is an attempt at paragraphing, the transition between the introduction and the first body paragraph is weak. The use of cohesive devices is limited and sometimes mechanical, such as the repetitive use of 'formal'. The logical progression is interrupted by the premature ending of the text. To achieve a higher band, ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and use a wider variety of linking words (e.g., 'furthermore', 'consequently', 'in contrast') to connect your ideas more fluidly.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is somewhat repetitive, particularly the overuse of the word 'formal'. While you demonstrate an ability to use some academic phrasing like 'can never be over emphasized' and 'learning tactics', the range is limited. There are instances where word choice is slightly unnatural, such as 'presents you to be official'. To improve, try to incorporate more precise synonyms and collocations related to education and child development to demonstrate a broader range of vocabulary.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains several run-on sentences and comma splices, such as '...all about, this is a study...' and '...with people, in the midst of colleagues...'. These errors affect the clarity of your writing. While you attempt some complex sentence structures, the control is inconsistent. To improve, focus on using full stops to separate independent clauses and ensure subject-verb agreement is consistent. Increasing the variety of sentence types, such as using conditional or relative clauses, would also help improve your score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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