Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is certainly true that most of the primary schools tend to focus more on formal learning. I completely agree with this statement because primary school is the time for learning not only acedmically but also non-formal learning.

While, few people argue that the undergraduate primary school only focus on acedmic learning, focusing only on acedmics may lead to less interest shown by the students. Pupils may find it boring to learn same things. Children will not be able to learn those skills that are actually useful in daily-life. Therefore schools should start teaching some self-defence skills and help to improve communication skills. Teaching new playing games in classroom will engage more students in classroom. For instance, In India, many primary schools have L.E.Ds in classrooms to engage children in studies.

From my prospective, playing is as important as learning. Due

to the fact that in secondary schod the pressure of studies will increase that the children may lack to in behind in other skills. Playing makes the student more active and it is very crucial for child's overall develop- ment not only physically but also mentally. The student learn new skills and also become more stronger physically.

In conclusion, even though

In Conclusion, Individuals argue that the primary schools often focus on only acedmic learning . I agree with this statement. even though learning and studies are important for child's future but playing and having fun is equally necessary to for pupil's mental health and development. Teaching only acedmics may supress the child's learning ability.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you argue that primary schools focus too much on academics, the supporting points—such as the mention of 'L.E.Ds' in India—are not fully connected to the argument about play. The position is clear, but the explanation of why play is crucial for development remains somewhat superficial. To improve, ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and provides more detailed, logical explanations for your claims rather than listing general benefits.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the flow between ideas is often disjointed. There is an overuse of basic cohesive devices, and some transitions are awkward, such as starting a paragraph with 'Due to the fact that'. The conclusion is particularly problematic, as it repeats the phrase 'In conclusion' twice and contains fragmented sentences. Referencing is sometimes unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow the progression of your argument. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph focuses on a single, well-developed idea would significantly enhance the coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and variety required for a higher band. There are frequent spelling errors, such as 'acedmically', 'acedmic', 'schod', and 'supress', which distract the reader. You rely on a limited set of words, repeating 'learning', 'playing', and 'academic' throughout the text. To achieve a higher score, you should focus on using more varied vocabulary related to education and child development, and pay closer attention to accurate spelling and word formation.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. Issues include incorrect article usage (e.g., 'the undergraduate primary school'), subject-verb agreement errors, and awkward phrasing (e.g., 'children may lack to in behind'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the use of commas and the fragmented sentences in the final paragraph. While your meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar and sentence structure prevents a higher score. Focus on proofreading for subject-verb agreement and sentence completeness.

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