Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-12
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
Education and sports, there have always been paradoxical opinions among the people. In these equivocal line of perspective, a notion emerges which suggests that primary schools should rely more on the structured learning. However, I personally do not share the same perception as it also pivotal part in life to play in childhood. The reasons for my inclinations will be justified in the upcoming paragraphs.
The major factor is that playing since childhood facilitates healthy life. To explain, children who plays along with studies will get physical strength as well as refreshment from their academic routine. Thus, it will motivate children to complete their homework, test and other study related work as they will get a reward in the form of playing certain things .Consequently, it will impact positively to their mental health also. For example, in this fast-paced world students are stressed, feeling anxiety and depression due excessive study hours and lack of mobility in the body.
Considering the development of child, playing outdoor and indoor games does play crucial role in their life. For example, swimming, chess, word or number puzzle and many other games help the children to acquire the skills, innovation, creativity and other skills which are helpful in lateral real life problems.
However, children should also focus on their academic performance as it is also a vital part of life. To elaborate, children learns the habit of the discipline, consistency and obtaining knowledge from the schools. On top of that, some children may get addicted towards playing and does not get socialize to others hence primary schools helps them getting open socially to not only children but also with elder ones.
In conclusion, since playing is crucial to children to have healthy lifestyle and get reduce their stress and anxiety regarding their academic routine, which also develop several skills which will help them in longer life time. Thus, these reasons dominates the positive aspects of formal learning which provides discipline and
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. However, the development of ideas is somewhat inconsistent. While the benefits of play are discussed, the argument regarding the balance with formal learning is less clearly articulated. The conclusion is incomplete, ending abruptly mid-sentence, which prevents a full summary of the position. To reach a higher band, ensure that all arguments are fully extended and that the conclusion provides a coherent synthesis of the points raised.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organised into paragraphs, and there is a logical progression of ideas. Cohesive devices such as 'To explain', 'Consequently', and 'However' are used to link sentences. However, some transitions feel mechanical, and the referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the final paragraph where the sentence structure breaks down. The lack of a completed conclusion significantly impacts the overall coherence of the piece, as the final thought is left hanging without a proper closing statement.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, with some attempts at more sophisticated language like 'paradoxical', 'equivocal', and 'inclinations'. However, there are several instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors, such as 'playing certain things' and 'get reduce their stress'. Some phrases are used incorrectly, which occasionally hinders the precision of the argument. To improve, focus on using collocations more naturally and ensuring that less common vocabulary is used in the correct context.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are frequent grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues ('children who plays', 'children learns', 'some children... does not get socialize') and awkward phrasing ('lack of mobility in the body'). While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are persistent throughout the text. The incomplete final sentence also demonstrates a lack of control over sentence structure. Increasing the accuracy of basic grammatical rules would significantly improve the score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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