Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Education plays an important role in the progress and prosperity of country. It is more crucial for the grooming of society. People through proper knowledge and understandings will be able to remove the discrimination among various cultures and traditions of different nations.

And I strongly agree with the statement provided primary schools must be focused on formal learning because, through proper planned learning concept by teachers help students to polish their skills at younger age. They will be more dominant in their personality as well. They will become more punctual in their acts and also able to understand the value of time. Teachers also help them to learn various aspects that help in their upbringing. Students will be able to do their home task regularly through formal education. Also, the children have complete relaxation for their playing hours. Briefly, formal learning is quite pleasurable for them.

The people argument about primary schools focus too much on formal learning might be true according to their opinion. On behalf of their view, children should go and spend some time in school after playing. They are just trying to get how know of school environment or made their children punctual instead of learning through proper curriculum.

Although, formal education is effective form of learning for children and also help them to become socialize and maintain the peace among other students.

In conclusion, I respect other people point of view but i strong sugges

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, which significantly impacts the development of ideas. While you address both parts of the prompt, the arguments are underdeveloped and lack depth. For instance, you mention that formal learning helps polish skills, but you do not provide concrete examples or a balanced discussion on the importance of play. The conclusion is incomplete, which prevents a clear summary of your position. To improve, ensure you fully explore each aspect of the prompt with specific examples and ensure the essay is of sufficient length to allow for a thorough discussion.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay shows some attempt at logical organization, but the progression of ideas is often disjointed. While you use some basic cohesive devices like 'Also' and 'In conclusion', the transitions between sentences are sometimes mechanical or unclear, such as the abrupt shift in the second paragraph. Paragraphing is present, but the final paragraph is incomplete, which disrupts the overall flow. To improve, focus on using a wider range of linking words and ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that connects logically to the next, creating a more cohesive argument throughout the text.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and variety required for a higher band. You rely on repetitive phrasing, such as 'formal learning' and 'proper', and some word choices are awkward or non-idiomatic, such as 'get how know of school environment'. There are also minor errors in word formation, such as 'become socialize' instead of 'become socialized'. To improve, try to incorporate more academic collocations and synonyms to express your ideas more precisely. Expanding your range of vocabulary will help you convey your arguments with greater clarity and sophistication.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'The people argument about primary schools focus' (subject-verb agreement and noun usage) and 'i strong sugges' (incomplete sentence and spelling). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the use of commas. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors limits the score. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, subject-verb agreement, and proofreading for minor slips in grammar and spelling.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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