Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The area of many person can talk about the primary education system focus more much on student completely gain and learning new track and type best teacher can provide easy way to learn different mathod and way i well strong agree these statement and these essay line i will completely explain in up coming peraghaph

On the one hand they best way to learning to different education system can provide help and well see in videos new techonology work other country in good method and less time spend on work for instance the uk and europe country provide children all relax pieceful plaice and some time spend on other work like play different game in school they feel relax and easy way to learn new thing such as fun in important and well learn quickly play game game because they mind feel easy ha learninig speed fast these method

On the other hand in these few years private school increasing day by day and study can easy to near and new method but they some old primary school provide learning trick old type in these day techonology can improve all problem easy and relax frish mood to learning treat in my opinion children can learn new thing after cool and frish mind and spote is important in daily life for example they docotor can ask a good mind in good health body so body can fit different work in daily and mind work fast and right way different counytry reasearch a game in school life very powerful better learn new thing as a result i knowledge my experience in life studend can learn fast to see other work on these so physical health to key a fit and relax life and learning better way

To conclude there are many method to improved study level on school because classroom provide fun activate in daily and outing one a mounth different place these good way to learn new things fast

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response5.0
Coherence and Cohesion5.0
Lexical Resource4.5
Grammatical Range and Accuracy4.0
Overall4.5

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement and the importance of play. However, the development of ideas is limited by significant language barriers. While the student expresses a clear position, the arguments regarding the benefits of play and the role of technology are often repetitive and lack logical depth. The examples provided, such as mentioning the UK or general research, are vague and do not fully support the points being made. The response stays on topic, but the lack of clarity in expressing complex ideas prevents it from reaching a higher band.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is divided into paragraphs, which is a positive step. However, the progression of ideas is often difficult to follow due to the lack of appropriate cohesive devices and poor sentence structure. Transitions between ideas are either missing or mechanical, such as the repetitive use of 'in these day' or 'on the other hand'. The referencing is frequently unclear, making it difficult for the reader to track the argument. The conclusion is very brief and does not effectively summarize the main points discussed in the body paragraphs.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.5

The vocabulary is quite limited and often inaccurate, which frequently impedes communication. There are many instances of word-choice errors, such as 'many person can talk' instead of 'many people discuss' and 'frish mood' instead of 'fresh mindset'. The student struggles to use precise terminology related to education, relying on basic, repetitive words like 'good', 'way', and 'thing'. There is little evidence of an attempt to use less common lexical items, and spelling errors are frequent throughout the text, which significantly impacts the overall quality of the writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

The grammatical range is very limited, consisting mostly of simple, often fragmented, sentences. There are frequent errors in basic grammar, including subject-verb agreement ('they docotor can ask'), tense usage, and word order. Punctuation is almost entirely absent, which makes the text difficult to parse. Complex structures are attempted but are almost always faulty, leading to confusion. The high frequency of errors throughout the response means that the reader must constantly re-read sentences to understand the intended meaning, which is a characteristic of a lower band score.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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