Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Some individuals says that elementry school focus heavily on formal education. I am storongly disagree with the statement, in my opinion the balance between sports and learn plays significant roles in primary classes for students develpoment.

Numerous people concentrate too much on formla learning because they thought that the play will distract their child from the education and eventually it will lower their grades. It is true for some extent while it has been seen that the students who are only involved in studies would face crucial demerits such as stress, physical strength. While the school who has the proper balance in study and sports shown great results in both fields.

The education system which involved play in their classes have benefits such as it helps to children to boost strength and immunity. Moreover it opens the opportunities for the child in sports feild, where they learn leadership skills, communication skills and character development which is essential in future. For instance, Ms Dhoni was a average student in his initial primary school days that is why he use to bunk during those days but his dad knew that so he put him in schools cricket team and with this idea turned uot to be a miracle for India, he become 1 st captain of India who won the all 3 International Cricket Council trophy to India.

In conclusion, it is necessary to students to concentrate on studies in primary schools because this is the stage which guides them to their carreer but the play also play an essential role in children development hence the balance between both the feild is crucial for their healthy life and future goals.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. You clearly state your position in the introduction. However, the development of ideas is somewhat uneven. While you provide a relevant example regarding MS Dhoni, the explanation of why play is important could be more deeply explored beyond general benefits like 'immunity' and 'leadership'. The argument is clear, but the support for your position could be more sophisticated to reach a higher band. Ensure that all parts of the prompt are given equal weight in your analysis.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow your argument. You use some cohesive devices, such as 'Moreover', 'For instance', and 'In conclusion', to link ideas. However, the transition between sentences is sometimes mechanical, and there are instances where the flow is interrupted by awkward phrasing, such as 'It is true for some extent while it has been seen that...'. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that referencing (e.g., 'this idea') is always clear would enhance the overall coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'significant roles', 'development', and 'essential'. However, there are several spelling errors ('elementry', 'storongly', 'formla', 'feild', 'carreer') and some word choice inaccuracies, such as 'crucial demerits' or 'bunk during those days'. These errors are noticeable and occasionally distract the reader, though they do not prevent the message from being understood. To improve, focus on proofreading for common spelling mistakes and expanding your use of collocations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt complex sentences, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement ('Some individuals says', 'school who has... shown') and article usage. Punctuation is also inconsistent, which affects the clarity of some sentences. While the meaning is generally clear, the frequency of these errors limits the score. To progress, work on mastering basic subject-verb agreement and ensuring that complex sentences are constructed with greater accuracy.

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