Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In purpose of making educated generations schools are held. But, some of the people used to tell that the children get to learn only the educational things in the schools as primary schools are giving only the formal learning. On the other hand, some believe that it is not true as there are many other activities and sports to make a good human being to the society.

According to me, I believe that this given opinion which says that primary schools are doing too much formal learning is not the real story behind this matter as I did not agree with that. As far as I'm concerned, the education system which use in the present is better for the students as there are a good balance with learning and doing sports. Furthermore, children get more opportunities of learning those things in primary schools which are valuable for their future.

However, it is very important to teach children things beyond the books as they need all of these things. According to that, children should play in the primary classrooms with the activities given by the teachers. Those things are helpful to the students to be healthy and understand their lessons. For instance, doing sports and playing since the primary classes are helpful to destroy obesity in children as the majority of the students are obesity and have health problems in the present. As a result of doing formal learning only in schools, children will get boring and they will don't like to learn educational things.

Without focusing too much on formal teaching ways in schools it will be better if they can focus on play and sports also. Therefore, if children play as well as learn there will be lot of consequences that they can get when they are getting older.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt, though the development is somewhat limited. You clearly state your position in the second paragraph, arguing that the current system is balanced. However, the arguments provided are repetitive and lack depth. For example, the point about obesity is relevant but is not fully explored in terms of how 'play' specifically integrates into a primary curriculum. The ideas are generally relevant, but the explanation of why play is important for learning could be more sophisticated to reach a higher band. The conclusion is a bit vague, using the phrase 'lot of consequences' without specifying what those positive outcomes might be.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. Phrases like 'According to that' and 'In purpose of' are used incorrectly, which disrupts the flow of ideas. While there is a logical progression from the introduction to the body paragraphs, the transitions between sentences are sometimes abrupt. The referencing is occasionally unclear, and the overall structure would benefit from more varied and precise linking words to connect your arguments more fluidly.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision required for a higher score. You rely on basic phrasing, such as 'educational things' and 'good human being', which are imprecise. There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'destroy obesity' (instead of 'combat' or 'reduce') and 'get boring' (instead of 'become bored'). While your meaning is generally clear, the lack of more sophisticated or academic vocabulary limits the effectiveness of your arguments.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'In purpose of making educated generations schools are held' (awkward syntax), 'the education system which use in the present' (incorrect verb form), and 'they will don't like' (double auxiliary). Punctuation is generally acceptable, but the frequency of errors in basic sentence construction and subject-verb agreement prevents the writing from reaching a higher band. You should focus on mastering basic sentence patterns before attempting more complex structures.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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