Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 7.0)

It is argued that primary schools place excessive emphasis on academic subjects at the expense of other activities. I disagree with this view because, while core subjects are important, most schools already provide a balanced curriculum that includes play and physical education.

Those who believe that schools focus too much on formal learning point out that young children spend many hours each day on reading, writing and mathematics. They argue that this pressure to perform academically can lead to stress and reduce children’s natural curiosity. Furthermore, critics claim that by prioritizing test results, schools have less time for arts, music and sports, which are also crucial for a child’s development.

However, I feel that this criticism is not entirely justified. Most modern primary schools recognize the importance of a holistic approach to education. In addition to formal lessons, children are given regular breaks, physical education classes, and opportunities for creative play. For example, in many countries the school day is structured to include 30-40 minutes of outdoor play and at least two PE lessons per week. These activities are not just for recreation; they help children develop social skills, teamwork and physical health, which are essential for academic success later on. Research also shows that children who have a balance of learning and play tend to concentrate better in class.

In conclusion, although academic learning is the core purpose of primary school, I do not believe that schools focus on it "too much". A well-designed primary education system successfully integrates formal learning with play and sport to support the overall development of children.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

The response addresses all parts of the prompt clearly. You have taken a firm position against the idea that schools focus too much on formal learning and have provided relevant reasons to support this, such as the holistic approach and the benefits of play for social and academic development. The ideas are well-developed, and the structure is logical. To reach a higher band, you could include more specific personal examples or nuanced counter-arguments to further extend your points. However, the current response is well-balanced and directly answers both questions posed in the prompt.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear progression of ideas. Each paragraph has a central theme, and the transition between the opposing view and your own perspective is smooth, using effective cohesive devices such as 'However' and 'Furthermore'. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the introduction, the counter-argument, your own argument, and the conclusion. The flow is natural, and referencing is clear throughout the text, making the argument easy to follow for the reader.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

You demonstrate a good range of vocabulary appropriate for an academic context. Phrases like 'excessive emphasis', 'holistic approach', and 'natural curiosity' show a level of sophistication. The word choice is generally precise and fits the context well. While the vocabulary is effective, it could be further elevated by incorporating more idiomatic or less common collocations to demonstrate a wider range. Overall, the language is accurate and contributes to a professional tone throughout the essay.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 7.5

The essay displays a good variety of complex sentence structures, such as the use of conditional and concessive clauses (e.g., 'while core subjects are important, most schools already provide...'). The grammar is highly accurate, with very few errors. Punctuation is used correctly, and the sentence construction is varied, which helps maintain the reader's interest. The control over complex structures is consistent, and there are no significant errors that impede communication or cause confusion.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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